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-   -   Little Puppy (https://www.takethislife.com/other-mental-health/little-puppy-197890/)

PenguinLord 03-24-15 08:32 AM

Little Puppy
A few days ago, this little thing happened. I saw a puppy across the street trying to cross the street. Well, obviously the puppy was going to get run over by the cars. (btw, I was with my aunt) When the puppy tried crossing the road, my aunt actually screamed (not that loud, but it was still a scream). The first car didn't hit the dog, the second car stopped a few feet away, but the parallel side of the street; the cars where still moving. At this time my aunt was panicking, so I actually made the cars stop (walking in front, the cars weren't moving that fast so they stopped immediately.) picked the puppy up and returned it to the couple dimwits who let the puppy escape.

Here's the thing. I wanted the puppy to get run over. I wanted it to die. The only reason I can think of why I didn't let it got run over, was because my aunt was beside me.

If I was alone, I would have let the puppy get killed. I don't really understand what's bothering me.

123Noon321 03-24-15 11:24 AM

Well, sometimes when we do something without much thinking, we start to think what would happen if we didnt do that. I think that that is what you are doing now. "What would happen if i wasnt with aunt", "what would happen if i felt this way" or "that way" etc. But thing is the thing you did and cant explain why you did it, you did it from your subconscience . Its what you would want to do, without thinking, you did it automatically, since it is situation that is quick so there is no time to think.

We all have some sort of dark thoughts, like you wishing for puppy to die. But most of the times, they arent rational, they just come from some dark place in our minds when we are feeling dark, or when something stressful happens etc.

You aint a bad person Penguin, you saved a life today. YOu may think you wished for that life to die, but you saved it. What i think is bothering you is that you think that your action was against your wishes. that you did something that isnt what you would usually do. But trust me, that person who saved the dog, that is you, just cut off from all of the thinking.

You are a hero. :hug: :hug: :hug:

PenguinLord 03-25-15 08:52 AM

Maybe, but I don't really considered myself as a hero. I know I saved that puppy's life, but the fact I wanted it to die didn't made me that proud of what I did.

I understand the dark place in the mind when the person is sad or what, but the thing is. My mind's really twisted. I find joy when someone gets hurt, but then I'm also concerned about them. I'm often conflicted by this.

123Noon321 03-25-15 01:53 PM

Maybe you are into BDSM in some form? Its possible to find pleasure in others pain, but still feel empathy with them, coz you dont want them to be hurt, as person, but it brings you pleasure when they do, but you dont want it. Maybe thats the case?

tessamess 03-26-15 08:42 PM

or maybe it's easier to see a tragedy than to participate in a success.

PenguinLord 03-27-15 07:32 AM

@nsd, I know what BDSM is, but I'm not into it. I find tragedies funny tho, but not really find it pleasurable.

@tess, yeah... i can relate to that.

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