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-   -   I am told I overanalyze everything (https://www.takethislife.com/other-mental-health/i-am-told-i-overanalyze-everything-195538/)

phoenicianprincess 03-01-15 08:55 PM

I am told I overanalyze everything
I dont think I overanalyze things. I think I see what is in front of my face and I respond to it.

This happened since I was a kid. I was told by parents and family and teachers that I was some sort of brilliant overthinker for noticing things which I think most other people notice as well.

So why do they tell me I overanalyze? Is it to prevent me from noticing things they don't want me to? I am afraid to add details to any sentence I say, or to notice things, for fear they will interpret it as "overanalyzing". Oh, yeah, and "overanalyzing" is a different thing every time. It is therefore impossible to avoid being accused of doing it by modifying my behavior.

My friend, who contradicts himself all the time, and then denies he did so, changes story details and thinks I dont notice, and then tells me I overanalyze him for asking him why he says and does things, has been vaguely talking about suicide lately.

When I told his family about it, even though there were no actual suicide threats and the talk was vague, he was angry at ME because THEY overreacted to it, saying it almost f*cked him up. I am tired of him blaming me for his and others' behaviour. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, it hurts. I don't know if he is aware he does it or not. Mostly it is for his own behavior- like he says something confusing and gets mad at me for saying I don't get it or asking too many questions about it.

I don't effing get it.

pnb12 03-01-15 10:01 PM

I tend to notice things more too, and am told I "over think" everything. I think that some people are just naturally more relaxed than others, and the rest of us try to see the picture more clearly. I used to try to read in between the lines, but I learned that the lines are all I need. Hopefully I helped :) "Don't think too much, you'll create a problem that was never there in the first place."

phoenicianprincess 03-01-15 10:06 PM

Okay. Just be sure you really were thinking more than others are weren't just getting noticed for doing it more.

I learned that some people get told they analyse more not because they actually do it more, but because the people around them are more likely to say it about them. I may analyse no more than John does, but since John's family doesnt use "youre overanalyzing!" as a "shut up" tactic, he doesn't get told that about himself as often as I do.

sometimes people tell others they are analyzing too much simply because they are more likely to notice things the person doesnt want them to notice, even though they dont necessarily think more.

or, sometimes you DO analyze more, but its not because it's your nature to do that, but because the things that happen to you and the situations you are in in your life require more analysis than the things that happen to them.

phoenicianprincess 03-02-15 06:56 AM

Google Gaslighting- it is a tactic people who are verbally abusive by telling the person they perceive things incorrectly and scare them away from seeing what they don't want them to see.

Shacke 03-02-15 08:28 AM

Well, we all have secrets. And when you discover someone‘s they are usually uncomfortable with it. So, don‘t be suprised by their reactions. Try not to pay too much attention on that. And try not to tell them you know something they don‘t want you to know. Sometimes it‘s best not to do anything. Because, like I said, they feel cornered. Give it some thinking. What do you do when you‘re cornered? I don‘t say it‘s right thing to do, but it is quite common.

phoenicianprincess 03-02-15 08:31 AM

Yes, but you cannot avoid noticing things they do not want you to because it's not always obvious what things they want to keep secret.

and if they have some agenda I am not aware about, how do I know which facts are facts they want me not to notice, if I don't know which agenda it is that they have?

Shacke 03-02-15 11:39 AM

I guess you‘re right about that one. There are things that are obvious they don‘t want you to know, and there are things that aren‘t so obvious. About former, well what I said goes. But for later, I‘m not shure.Maybe it will help not to say anything when you‘re not shure. But it really depends on situation. And of course, there‘s always “ don‘t worry about what they say“ advice. That‘s really good advice, if you can do it.

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