Aloha- What has helped- Effexor
I've never joined a Forum before but I thought I should share a bit of my story.
I'm in my early twenties, a female, high intelligence, with a history of relationship instability, trauma, depression, suicide attempts, cutting, and a 3-year struggle to find a way to live a life in which I wouldn't constantly be bombarded with the idea I can check out at any moment.
Right now, I'm content. I've been consistently OK for approximately two months. This is quite a feat as I have been battling severe depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation for 3 years. I've been on virtually every type of medication; I've tried meditation, running (even doing a half marathon), simplification, alcohol, drugs... Nothing seemed to work, or if it did, it would only help for a week or two and then I would be back in an agonizing mental hole.
Finally, after relapsing into cutting again, I asked my doctor to switch me to Effexor as I had been on Lexapro for about six months.
At first I had too much energy on Effexor- I couldn't sleep properly and I was having active nightmares and more anxiety. But after about two weeks, my thoughts cleared. I no longer had intrusive suicidal thoughts... The constant existential crisis I'd believed I was in dissipated.. I generally felt OK. Not overly joyous- just OK.
Now I can see my future, and honestly, I NEVER thought this would happen.
I just wanted to tell the world and tell you guys if you can find one medication that can give you enough clarity to push forward, you can truly start a journey to recovery. Do not stop with the SSRIs, or the Tricylics, or the SNRIs- just keep trying every different one. Eventually there will be something to halt that negative feedback thinking. I promise with all my heart.
Although I know Effexor won't fix everything, it has given me enough clarity and energy to get my life back on track so that when I do fall again (I am no longer naive to think that I won't relapse) I will have mental measures in place to keep me moving forward... most importantly the realization of hope... This too shall pass.
Keep trying. Do NOT give up. If I can type this today, you can type this tomorrow.
Good for you - GREAT story of hope !
I have tried almost every medication out there and have been severely depressed / anxious for the last 1-1/2 years and not doing any better. I try to keep up some hope but I also deal with some physical issues that make be constantly remind myself of them and fuels my depression.
Enjoy you great life while you can, things can change with the blink of an eye.
Hypnosis worked for me for depression; however I do still take 1 mg. Xanax at bedtime to keep me from having panic attacks during the night.
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