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-   -   i just want to be happy and i dont know how... (https://www.takethislife.com/depression/i-just-want-happy-i-dont-177554/)

Stefani 10-02-14 03:00 PM

i just want to be happy and i dont know how...
 
i'm thirty years old and im unhappy... often feel lonely in the crowd and feeling empty inside. been taking drugs and glued to vodka for the last ten years. been sober now for a month and there is no desire to take drugs no more. thats something..

its very hard to forget my fuck up childhood and my gloomy past.. even though i make myself busy, back to school, keep my mind occupied in a day time, but at night before i go to sleep my mind start wonder, wonder why am i so unlucky... what is actually missing, why am i feeling so low n cant be a positive happy person like others? and so on..

its not that im ugly, poor or disable. why cant i be more grateful, me is really my own enemy. maybe i need to see a pshycology.. again... im so sad right now its hard to breathe :sob::sob:

123Noon321 10-02-14 05:19 PM

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. :( :hug:

But hey, you made an amazing accomplishment there, and i want to say, congratulations!!!! Sober for a month with no desire to start again!!!!! Keep it up, you are building yourself a road towards getting better. It may seem like a small step, but its in fact huge one, trust me.

I also, when i go to sleep and just lay in bed, i also think about many things, that is bad and it makes me feel sad usually, but its in human nature to overthink before sleep. Let go that past, you already started building a path to better tomorrow, now get rid of that chains that bind you and be free. If you feel like talking things off, i strongly suggest visiting psychologist, it can help you out in sorting out those bad emotions that pop up.

You will get better, i have no doubt there.

Stay safe, best wishes. :hug:

SensualGirl 10-02-14 05:54 PM

Great that you're clean and sober!!:thumbsup: Things are working out. And you're in school?? Wow, I would love to be in school right now.

People aren't necessarily as happy as they look. Everyone has problems, everyone has issues that they're dealing with, whether tangible like the mortgage and a dreadful job, or intangible like coming out of the closet or hating people. The key isn't to be perfect as you know, it's for the good to outweigh the bad I guess. Also find a good healthy coping strategy, something that will make you feel like life is worth living.

Aries 10-02-14 07:51 PM

Stefani~Welcome to TTL!:hug: Hope you don't mind my own comments on your thread.:hug:

I agree with SensualGirl. It's wonderful that you've decided to not take the drugs & have left the Vodka bottle.:hug: I also agree with nsdimitrije. You've seen to be moving in a forward direction. That's something to be proud of!:hug: I understand how the past can effect our own future & how our mind can "wander in it's own playground" at times. Here's some advice & hope you don't mind. First of all, maybe start a journal about how you're feeling, when those thoughts "creep up'" upon yourself. Sometimes, we can figure out some of the issues/problems by 'reviewing what we put down on paper at a later time. I think that making an appointment to see your psychologist is a good idea. It's a positive step of being able to open up, get a positive outlet, & also be able to get some helpful advise/suggestion to apply, within your real life.:hug: Sometimes, all we need to do, is realise that we do have people that understand, care, & can relate to whatever we're enduring/encounter. Then we're able to keep moving forward within our own life. In the meantime, we'll be here for you;always.:hug:

Stefani 10-03-14 07:17 AM

thank you!!
 
thank you so much for your encourage words. its very comforting😘😘 im glad i joined this site. you guys awesome!!!


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