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-   -   Is it done on purpose? (https://www.takethislife.com/abuse/done-purpose-152202/)

Introspective 04-06-14 05:40 PM

Is it done on purpose?
 
Do you think it's possible for a person to be a verbal abuser and not realize they are?

Teyuh4 04-06-14 08:19 PM

I am married to a verbal abuser and I can't imagine that they don't realize they're like that. Alcohol ignites the verbal abuse. When I ask him why he's so nasty, the response is I'm too sensitive. I think they have so many issues, they want to drag us down so they feel better about themselves.

Dave86 04-06-14 10:10 PM

Yes verbal abuse is just as bad as physical
sometimes worse. It's easy for
somebody to pretend they don't do
it.

Introspective 04-07-14 02:07 PM

I know I'm being abused but I can't find it in myself to hate him for it. At least not for very long. He suffers from ptsd plus he's always had a stubborn, dictatorial personality but there was so much good in him. All that "good" is gone now, dead or buried deep. I just wish his words and his glares didn't hurt so much. I'm so tired of crying

Anastassia Florine 09-14-14 04:57 PM

Sometimes, with some people, it's yes and no at the same time. They mean to hurt but don't say something hurtful, or they don't mean to hurt but say something hurtful, or they mean to teach you a lesson but it comes out hurtful, or they just mean to teach you a lesson and don't care if they are hurtful or not. Or perhaps something else. That is my experience.

angie 03-01-15 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Introspective (Post 1537034)
I know I'm being abused but I can't find it in myself to hate him for it. At least not for very long. He suffers from ptsd plus he's always had a stubborn, dictatorial personality but there was so much good in him. All that "good" is gone now, dead or buried deep. I just wish his words and his glares didn't hurt so much. I'm so tired of crying

Good people do hurtful things...that does not mean you have to be there to experience that abuse.

I do think behavior is purposeful and someone who verbally abuses you in a relationship knows they are doing it. If that person is dealing with some sort of mental illness such as schizophrenia or mental illness like that, that is a different story. However that does not excuse their actions and that does not mean you should stay in a relationship with someone who needs help with that.

DPG1 10-01-16 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Introspective (Post 1537034)
I know I'm being abused but I can't find it in myself to hate him for it. At least not for very long. He suffers from ptsd plus he's always had a stubborn, dictatorial personality but there was so much good in him. All that "good" is gone now, dead or buried deep. I just wish his words and his glares didn't hurt so much. I'm so tired of crying


Quote:

Originally Posted by angie (Post 2018754)
Good people do hurtful things...that does not mean you have to be there to experience that abuse.

I do think behavior is purposeful and someone who verbally abuses you in a relationship knows they are doing it. If that person is dealing with some sort of mental illness such as schizophrenia or mental illness like that, that is a different story. However that does not excuse their actions and that does not mean you should stay in a relationship with someone who needs help with that.

Well put angie.

Introspective, regardless of why this person is being verbally abusive toward you, he has no business doing it. Don't hate the guy as you'll only drag yourself down but if the abuse continues, get out. It's just as bad as the physical abuse and no you're not being too sensitive. Even the strongest of steel will break from fatigue if it is being constantly stressed.

Make it clear to him that if he doesn't get the help he needs, then you're getting out. If he's getting that help, then be as supportive as possible but DON'T let yourself become submissive.

l hope this helps you.


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