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-   -   Studying anxiety (https://www.takethislife.com/anxiety/studying-anxiety-135210/)

Crystal Orb 12-30-13 12:32 PM

Studying anxiety
 
Anxiety hit me again today. I had just gotten out of work, thankfully it was a short shift, and I had planned the things I wanted to do since its my b-day and I wanted to try something that was not just sitting in the house/working all day since that's pretty much what my they have been for quite a few years now. Instead of going to do what I had planned, I went home, telling myself to the way there the same phrase over and over again in an attempt to keep myself occupied so as not to let the anxiety creep in any further.

So I've decided to try and study what is causing these episodes in me. Maybe by knowing what triggers them, I can defuse or at the very least reduce the impact of the attacks when they happen. I want to have a wide range of options if its possible. So what kind of things does anyone else do when faced with these attacks?

AZDood 12-30-13 04:13 PM

First off, happy birthday! Sad to hear it kind of went down the shitter on ya. I'd be really interesting to hear what you find out about what causes your anxiety. I get it too and I'd like to compare notes.

I hope the rest of your day goes OK.

AZ

Crystal Orb 01-02-14 04:42 AM

Thanks. Birthday caused more dissapointment than joy unfortunately since alot of people forgot it and especially my father who seems that he couldn't be bothered enough to get up his ass and come over. Every day I seriously hate him more.

Preliminarily, one of the things that causes anxiety seems to be body so I'm thinking of excersizing more.

Crystal Orb 02-06-14 05:46 AM

I was planning to make a new thread but don't want crowding the forum since this is tied to anxiety already.

Not to much surprise, part of the triggers of my anxiety have to do with family. While I'm alone in the house, there is somewhat more peace and I'm able to enjoy some quiet me time. As soon as the others come in, the peace goes out the window. My mother, whether knowingly or not, likes to run her mouth, saying things that are both hurtful and untrue. Every time she loses her temper she starts saying how she's so tired and the only one doing anything in the family. Funny thing especially since she's not the one who puts gas in the car, is buying the groceries, paying for car repairs, putting debts up to date, etc. Its really frustrating because it feels like when I was a kid trying to impress my parents. I worked hard but it was never enough for them and they always found something to complain about. Now its the same only with money. And I'm trying the best I can but I can really only go so far with a lousy minimum wage part time job.

Crystal Orb 02-06-14 05:58 AM

Regardless of how many times I've tried, nothing has turned up.

My brother on the other end is also part of the reason of anxiety. He never did anything to help but he is quick to demand things. Last nights comment of "I should be managing this families money. That way we won't continue going hungry" really set me off. He doesn't work, doesn't help around the house yet he has the nerve to say something like that, when he doesn't even bother to help with grocery shopping? Hell he bought himself a computer and he couldn't bother to give a few bucks for food and then he complains that we are going hungry!?

My mother has the nasty habit of defending him alot as well. Last week they wanted pizza. Getting them to make the call seems like an impossibility to them and then I had to go get. I confronted my mother immediately, saying why couldn't my brother get it, especially since I arrived from work. Her response was "you know the parking there is tough" I'm sorry WHAT!? Last I checked my brother was not paraplegic, didn't have any debilitating conditions, was in good health, knows how to drive and he couldn't go because the parking was tough!?

SensualGirl 02-06-14 11:02 AM

I would be very proud if I were able to take care of family like you are.

Crystal Orb 02-10-14 07:12 PM

Thanks Sensual

I think I've found another factor the triggers anxiety, the identity crisis. At least today, during my lunch break at work, something happened. All of the sudden it felt as if I had forgotten something. I couldn't tell what it was. I called my mother to check if she had asked me for something during the morning but she said that she didn't. The more I thought about it the quicker the anxiety crept in. Suddenly I found myself questioning who I was. I made a thread midway through the episode. I was restless, edgy, I thought I was going to break down then and there. Luckily I was able to react or recover from it, whichever the case was. I don't know why it happened but the feeling of not knowing who I am seems to contribute to the episodes.

SensualGirl 02-11-14 01:34 AM

Who are you?

I remember three years ago I went through something similar. I was so torn, registered Republican yet former stripper lol. I felt pulled apart. LaVeyan Satanism pulled together all these disparate labels. Plus I think I just needed to relax.:smile:

Crystal Orb 02-11-14 05:44 AM

I don't know. Or at least I can't say with certainty right now. I can't really identify with one thing or another entirely because it would feel like I was trying to complete requirements for an ideal or label which would then bring about a conflict of established ideals.

SensualGirl 02-11-14 05:56 AM

Well you know you're asexual. Who else are you?


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