Feeling very agoraphobic
 

I've had periods in life where I stay home because it's too hard to deal with the world. I seem to get over it after awhile, facing the world again with new hope. I recently lost my job because I had too many absences. I got in a fight with a friend about a guy "jokingly" commenting about sex with her daughter. I thought it was highly inappropriate and disgusting since my friend has had sex with him before and her daughter is only 16! So now I don't want to interact with friends at all. Besides, I know they talk about me when I'm not there like they have it all figured out and I'm just stupid.

I don't want to try to face the world anymore. I am scared of people judging me (even on this site to be honest). I wish I could make some money from home but I don't know how. I feel myself getting more agoraphobic with each experience outside my home. I can't feel hopeful anymore like I've lost the ability. I don't even want to be around family during the holidays. What should I do?

Only superhumans can approach all issues at once, especially during the holidays when we feel so much pressure! So don't take on all of it now. Isolate just a couple of immediate concerns or needs and see if you want to take some action.

It sounds like you've been scared lately, and also worried about jobs. Well, it's the holidays so seems to me you could give yourself a few days off before you think about jobs yet. And families can be tough, so do what you need to. Perhaps try to at least speak to family members on the phone.

Do you want to go somewhere to see people during this next few days? Or maybe be in a group of people, just listening to music or something? Can you call someone on the phone, or even texting? All those are good things to do a little bit to stave off isolation.

If you really feel you can't leave your place, turn on music so you have the feeling of an outside world. Turn on the TV and have something on like a parade, or a dance competition, something like that. It can be good to get used ot background noise.

I don't know if you have trouble like I do, feeling like I'm not allowed to take up space and should stay home instead of going to a park or someplace. I have to keep telling myself the outside world belongs to me, too.

Thank you for your reply. You are right that I need to take one issue on at a time. I can be too hard on myself and the world. My mom asked me to go to church with her this evening and I said I'd go. I don't have money to buy her a gift so I will do this for her. I normally feel awkward at church and a bit paranoid that everyone knows how unstable I am.

I understand what you mean about "taking up space". I am always apologizing for being in the way of others. I like that you remind yourself that the outdoors belongs to you too. I'll try to remember that.