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-   -   I Am Afraid Of... (https://www.takethislife.com/anxiety/i-am-afraid-13235/)

Blue Girl 01-12-08 10:34 PM

I Am Afraid Of...
 
practically everything to do with my daughter. I'm so afraid I'm going to do something wrong and make her sick or something... (she just turned 4, by the way)

I'm afraid I won't give her enough to drink
I'm afraid I will give her too much to drink
I'm afraid to let her eat too much salt
I'm afraid something I feed will give her an allergic reaction
I'm afraid the food will be too hot
I'm afraid her food isn't going to be cooked enough
I'm afraid she'll choke on something
I'm afraid to leave the soap out for her to wash her hands because I get nervous she'll try to swallow it
I'm afraid I don't keep her things clean enough
ya ya ya ya ya..................
I'm afraid my being a worrywart is going to make her neurotic.... :(
I love her so much, taking care of her stresses me out so bad sometimes...
I don't know how to let things go...

silent cry 01-12-08 11:11 PM

aww blue girl dont worry.. u r a great mom to dd.
as for things like drinking too much or little..if she's full she wont drink it, if she's thirst she will tell u.

the soap think..so long as she knows what soap is there for im pretty sure she wont swallow it.. 4 year olds r quite smart.

if ur worried about food being hot, try it yourself first... but otherwise she will do that thing with her hand waving it infront of her mouth if its hot for her..then she knows to blow it first to cool it a bit.
as for food being cooked enough.. im sure you've been cooking long enough to know.. and if u would eat then its fine.

with kids things r never gonna b clean enough.. but as im sure u already do.. keep things as clean as u can.




graveCrave 01-12-08 11:24 PM

well said SC.. ^.^

You sound so sweet Blue Girl that u care that much about ur DD. Really shows how much u care n love her. Ure a great mom.. dont worry about that.

(^.^)

Blue Girl 01-13-08 07:58 AM

Aw, thanks...
I think a lot of my problem has to do with isolation. When I had DD I knew next to nothing about babies, so I read. I don't know if it's sensationalist journalism, or writers afraid of getting sued or what, but there's all these things they say to watch out for, this can happen, that can happen. So #1, I'm probably too "educated" :lol: :roll: #2 I don't get to hang out with other moms, so I can't see how "normal" some of these things are. I know when I go to church meals and see how/what other moms let their kids eat, it frees me, because I see what people REALLY do. #3 I am very insecure and try to do everything by-the-book. I feel SO guilty when I do something I read that I "shouldn't". That is a real obstacle for me. If something goes wrong, I feel I "deserve" it because I read it and "know better". I know that is a crux of things for me. Rigid black & white thinking that affects so much of my life. I have been getting better at telling these thoughts to "bug off", I'm finally so tired of the oppression that I've started to rebel. It is a good thing. I have to get away from being controlled by fear. I am getting better at this, and believe I really am going to get over this. I think I'm growing a spine... :wink: :lol:

Thanks for all the support, I really feel like people here care about me. :D

silent cry 01-13-08 08:02 AM

life doesnt come with a handbook. fine as a new mum it can be useful to read up on a few things but i think the best thing to do is go by your instincts.. i think most of it is common sense.. you will know when dd is ready for things.. cus she will try doing them herself.

try putting that book u have in a drawer somewhere and dont refer to it anymore.

and btw.. of course we care bout u. xxxx




tiggrr 01-13-08 01:22 PM

Quote:

I'm afraid to leave the soap out for her to wash her hands because I get nervous she'll try to swallow it
Lol. It's true, kids do eat weird stuff sometimes, but usually more around 2 or so. Anyway, I don't think she'll eat the soap and even if she does the worst that will happen is she'll have the runs. She certainly wouldn't be the first kid to eat soap. I seem to remeber parents used to clean their kids mouths out with it when they spoke wrong. (Not suggesting that.)

I knew a kid in kindergaten who ate glue all the time. Idk if he had dirreah all the time or what--probably--but he didn't seem any the worse for it and I'm pretty sure he dose'nt still eat glue. (I tried it, it's horrible!)

Why is what other parents do the measure of what you should do? Maybe they're making a mistake.

I do think kids need some freedom to make mistakes--you too--that's part of learning.

I"ve watched my nephews fall down and skin their knees or whateve so many times--their doing alright, just fine.

If you dot on them too much I think your fear becomes their fear; you don't want to fill them with fear of the world.

silent cry 01-13-08 01:30 PM

i had a friend who used to eat worms.. and i used to eat grass and paper.. did me no harm. and yes ive tasted soap too.. urghh.

tiggs is right.. they need a bit of freedom to learn about the world to discover things. we cant wrap them in cotton wool forever




Blue Girl 01-13-08 02:06 PM

LOL, you two! :lol:
See, I need common sense! I don't have it on my own, I need to see what normal people do when their kids eat paper or something.. lol

silent cry 01-13-08 03:07 PM

they did sod all.. it wont hurt us.. thats what im sayin.. sometimes we do things.. may not be the best thing to do but it doesnt mean it hurts us in anyway or makes us really ill.. but we get over it and move on.. if u catch dd eating worms tho u might wana say sumin along the lines of ewww thats a bit dirty u dont wana eat that. and she will prob stop. :)




tiggrr 01-13-08 03:56 PM

I don't think we give kids enough credit for their inate intelligence. They don't have adult fears experience obviously, but they can figure out most common sense stuff on their own. They go through phases like eating weird stuff, experimental, but they get over it. If they burned their tounge on soup once, they know enough to not eat it that hot again. They know when their thirsty and not. I remember reading something from a psychologist about kids and eating. It's not a good idea to make a big deal out eating this or not eating that otherwise they clue on this and will overcompensate in some way, such as telling them "no candy!". The next thing you know, they're begging for candy b/c you told them no.

The other thing I noticed about kids is that they can read their parents pretty well and will use this often to get attention or what they want so if you make a big deal out of the soup maybe being to hot or not, the next thing you know, they're complaining about the soup being to hot or too cold. When I cook for my nephews, I make them what they like and if they don't want to eat it, I don't push. They can eat or be hungry or whatever. I love 'em, but I'm the adult, not their employee.


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