Inability to Cope Like a Normal Person?
Last year on the anniversary of his death I literally had a meltdown and was on the verge of hospitalization.
This year I was unable to cry for weeks before and after the anniversary. Then "Jumper" by Third Eye Blind comes on the radio and I start bawling.
And now I'm feeling depressed and extremely anxious (but not like I need to be hospitalized though I would love to escape life for a few weeks).
What is wrong with me?
I hate this.
Their is nothing wrong with you in the sense that you are naturally grieving over the loss of your friend. I remember what happened and my heart goes out to you. You were not the cause of him doing that, I don't care if you were blamed. There are a lot of things that happen in life to bring us to that point of wanting to end it. I"ve never come across someone where it was one thing or one person. :hug:
I find grief so unpredictable, you go through so many different states and emotions. There is nothing that feels normal about grief, but you are a completely normal person.:hug:
I just went through the one year anniversary of what you are going through
and ask myself the same question. I don't think there is a normal way to
grieve. I think it has a lot to do with how close you were to the person
how much you loved them. I am looking for a way to deal with it find
a peace inside but I know it takes time. For some of us it takes longer
than others. Don't beat yourself up for caring . I know it is incredibly
painful I understand what you are going through. Some days you seem
to be finding peace then something sends you back down again. I don't
know your story but it seems by what Dax said that you blame yourself
I do that to myself and I think at some point we have to find a way
to forgive ourselves. I am not ready to do that yet but I know in order
to go on at some point I must find a way. I wish I had answers am struggling
to find my own. Just know there are others out there that feel like you do
and you are just human and this is am unbearable pain many don't understand.
The situation may not be normal but it doesn't mean that you are not.:hug::hug:
Sorry for your pain. Everyone grieves at their own pace, in their own ways. There is nothing wrong with your reaction. :hug:
Thank you for remembering that Dax! It sounds weird but it feels great to know that someone knows my side of that story.
Thank you to everyone for the advice and making me feel a lot better about this whole grief thing. :hugs:
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