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-   -   My mind is calm (https://www.takethislife.com/getting-better/my-mind-calm-1107/)

Jupiter 08-02-06 08:42 PM

My mind is calm
 
I think this is the first day in a long time that I didn't think about killing myself constantly. I finally decided to go on a medication that I refused to go on for a very long time. I just couldn't take it anymore. I knew if I didn't do something I certainly would have hurt myself, sooner than later. It was only getting worse, no matter what I did. I am hoping I do ok. I am just afraid that it may take away my motivation to paint,...I'm not sure,..I haven't been on it long enough,..but I guess,..as long as it helps quiet my mind,..just for a little bit,....I just need a break. I think the past two weeks have been the worst in a long time. I still feel like I am on thin ice,...but I am trying,....I'm glad I can talk to people on this site........

lonelydove27 08-02-06 08:47 PM

I would NEVER go on medication! It does do anything but fuck up you nerves.

Jupiter 08-02-06 08:56 PM

well..I decided,..that I was going to blow my head off if I didn't do something. I am only on Wellbutrin,..for depression. I made a very serious suicide attempt in October, I ended up in ICU for three days. I don't know why I am still here,..but I am. This was not an easy decision for me at all. I don't want attention...I just want to be dead.....so.......if I didn't do something I would surely die. I'm sorry you feel otherwise,..but..I think I made the right decision for myself, and I am extremely proud of myself for doing so! I don't take meds lightly. I just needed some help. I think I'm on the right track...........

tiggrr 08-02-06 09:42 PM

You are Jupiter! Good luck with the meds! :shock:

distorted innocence 08-03-06 06:53 PM

jupiter, congrats on your decision!!! i think you made the right choice! good-luck!!! we are here for you

Jupiter 08-03-06 07:54 PM

Thank you for all your support,..it makes a difference,......

irishred 08-03-06 09:45 PM

Jupes

You did the right thing. Very good. If you don't protect yourself, nobody else will. Wellbutrin is good stuff.

Let us know how you are doing.

Very good, indeed. Anything that keeps you alive is worth it.

Irishred

Jupiter 08-04-06 08:56 PM

well, I'm still on the anti-psychotic,..but I had to cut the dose in half. It was just too much for me. I was so tired at work.,..and sick to my stomach. Well now I'm just sick to my stomach,..kind of in waves,..but I think it may be helping me. I have stopped obsessing about killing myself. So,..I'm only on Abilify, and Wellbutrin,...and by the way,...of all the antidepressants,.I have found that Wellbutrin has the least amount of sexual side effects.
I'm praying that this works for me.

jaxcutie 08-04-06 10:47 PM

Congrats. It seems as though you made a very responsible mature decision. If the wellbutrin is making you sick to your stomache, you can tell your dr. and they will try a different med. I have been on many because I couldn't handle the side effects of some of them (being sick, being tired, losing too much weight, etc), but they have finally found a combination that works great for me. Good luck, and keep on making positive decisions!

Blea 08-08-06 04:04 PM

i think u made the right decision gd luck jupiter we're here for you


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