Almost 12 years ago, I fell off of a 2 story roof while working and landed on my feet. I landed so hard that I shattered lumbar vertabrae 1. Bone fragments protruded into my spinal cord. Doctors couldn't tell me if i would ever walk again. Only time would tell. Well, i spent about 2 months in the hospital and made a remarkable recovery. I turned 30 in the hospital. I was able to walk again and feel most parts of my body so I wasn't fully paralyzed. The parts of my spinal cord that were damaged were parts of my intenstines, part of my penis, part of my butt. So, i had several disabilities from this injury.
A strange sexual disfunction where I would ejaculate as soon as I got the arousel feeling whether or not I got an erection. Very odd disability. It has never felt as good as it did before to have an orgazim. In the beggining i would have wet dreams and even be able to ejaculate just thinking about sex. Usualy i would be completly done after i ejaculate until i met my wife 4 years after my accident. With her, I would ejaculate immediately and sometimes i would stay hard or i would get an erection within 15 minutes then It would last an hour or so. I know this was because I was in love with her and very attracted to her more than I have ever been with any woman. We have divorced a year ago and I basically have no interest in sex anymore. But for some reason, when i hear her voice or think about her, i get an erection. Otherwise, i don't get them. I still love her and want her.
Another part of my dissability is that I have a nurogenic bladder. It means that my spinkter muscle won't relax because it's paralyzed so I have to use a cathater to drain my bladder when it gets full. So I usually have to self cath about 5 to 10 times a day depending on how much fluids I take in. It's a pain but it's by far the easiest part of my dissability to deal with.
The worst part is my bowel issues. Keep in mind that I was 30 when I had to start living with these dissabilties and I am 42 now. My spinkter muscle in my bowel is paralyzed so I have no control over it. I also have no feeling on half of my butt so i have no idea when I go or have to go. I also get terrible flatulence and it just comes out whenever it damn well pleases. I really have to watch what I eat and sometimes it just doesn't matter. My biggest problem is when I have loose stool because everything just comes out. I don't have accidents very often but when I do, it can be very imbarising. There has been no cosistancy to my bowel problems. I just don't eat very much anymore and try not to eat in public because I never know when or what's going to set my bowel issues off. I take alot of immodium but I have to be carefull because I don't want to get too constipated. But firm is good for me. As long as my stool stays firm, I am ok. I've only had 2 super bad accidents but somehow was able to pull it off without to much embarrasment. Only my wife knew about it. I hate this part of my dissability. It keeps me from leaving the house alot. Plus, because i don't eat very much, I am very thin. I am 155 and 6'2" tall.
I thought i had a good woman to stand by me and support me when I was down because of this but she took the easiest way out and she doesn't have to deal with my dissabilities any longer. But our daughter does and I feel bad for her. She is too young to totaly understand what is going on yet. But she doesn't like the flatulence thing because it stinks and just happens randomly. For most part it's a joke but as she gets older, it will just be flat out gross. My wife thought so after the honeymoon stage wore off and she realized what she had gotten herself into. I know that my dissability had a major role in the destruction of my marriage. I don't work because of it. It's too risky! I have tried but it's just not worth it. I do have a monthly income from the insurance company that gets me by. I was able to pay off my home so I don't have a mortgage. So i am lucky in that way.
Well, all this is part of my depression plus being single again. I just don't think that I will ever find a woman who will accept me with all my issues and that depresses me further. I mean, who wants to dive into someone elses problems and issues! It sucks for me so it would definitely suck for someone else.
So, as hard as it was to get this out, there it is.