I am currently unable to make to a dialysis center. In fact, it has been nearly 2 months since my last treatment. I just started dialysis May 2012. The access in my arm failed so I am dealing with catheter in my chest. It is filthy and in serious need of maintenance. I have been to ER twice to try and get treatment, but they have sent me home twice without so much as looking at the site to ensure it is clean and there is no risk of infection.
I won't die because I don't want to go to treatment, but because I am not receiving any type of support from the local providers. Some how I have lived this far, but I would pay money, give up a kidney, or do anything it I would die instead. I long for the sweet release of death. In fact, I have adopted the moto of "Death is Freedom". I long to be free of all this stress and headache. I will never receive the help I need living in this backwards area. I will die because providers are incapable of getting me the help I need. I pray I die every day. Here is hoping my kidney's fail tonight.