I'm so stressed right now. I feel butterfly feelings in my stomach. I can't sleep but I tried. I think I got 1 hour of sleep in right now.
I'm having some health problems right now and being tested for Diabetes and Thyroid among a bunch of other things. At first I thought my Herpes had spread to my hands and I panicked and took 2 days off of work.
Now I'm thinking that might not be it. I wore gloves to go to bed in and around the house and it caused me alot of stress. I begrudglingly went to the DR and she sent me for these tests, she said that it couldn't be herpes. (of course I think otherwise) I thought she was whacked at first. But maybe she's onto something. IDK. My hands look better now but are still burning some.
I think my symptoms are due mostly to stress and the bullying that I'm dealing with at work. It takes everything I have to walk into work. I have a few co-workers who are supportive of me but I'm under attack by many.
Attack on my character and work ethic, just about anything to tear me down and some of it is bad.
I'm home now and still thinking of work and dreading going back in. I tried taking stress leave previously but my doctor wouldn't give it to me. I'm desperately hanging in there. I need the money so I go in to work. But I'm worried that the stress might of kicked in and I fear also that it might of caused some serious physical problems like Thyroid, Diabetes.
I'm trying to tell myself I'm home now and safe and to keep the thoughts of work out of my mind. I have to really fight thinking about work. The anxiety is so bad. mind racing.
So I'm here today because I need some support and strength and any tips that you can give me to get over my overactive mind and anxiety.
I'm not on any medication right now for depression and anxiety. I was also told I had Generalized Anxiety Disorder. IDK, if this is something you have all your life or not.
My current symptoms right now are feeling feverish (on and off), burning hands (on and off) and butterfly feeling in stomach, racing thoughts. Also feeling sad and tearful (not new I know).
Currently I'm trying to turn myself off and ignore my work fears. Trying not to think of work when I'm home.
Maybe coming here and spilling it out has helped me too.
I home alone right now. Just need a hug.
I love the work I do and the immediate group I work with of 4 people is wonderful. It's coming into contact with the other girls. I think I'm just going to try to ignore the others.
I have one guy that use to say he love me, wanted to come to my home, he wanted to date me real bad but I refused him. Well he stopped talking to me months ago, and now were back being friend. I have to fight for every friend at work.
To say that I'm fighting 20 co-workers a week wouldn't be a lie. I'm tough, tougher than most I suppose. But, for ther first time in my life I need a break. I've decided to ignore 2 of the girls I'm working with now before I tried to be friendly but what's the point.
I'm thinking of starting a new job, but the stess of this place has gotten me down so much that I just can't get the energy to job hunt. I'm thinking I should just do it and go temporary for now. Just wing it. It's ballsy to do, especially with a mortgage to pay. Currently going into the car to eat lunch.