Okay, I'm avoidant, paranoid, anorexic and borderline, and I have big trouble making people understand what that exactly means.
Whenever I get upset over something and it goes out of hand, they get really upset with me, even if what I say and do is not directed at them. They then say: "You're inconsiderate of us and you should control your anger. It's not that hard. Tell us before hand when you feel like you're getting angry."
I keep telling them that that's not how it works and that I AM considerate of them! I do millions of things at my own expense just to make them happier and more comfortable. They take me for granted but I accept that because I care for them and understand that they don't always understand me and how I feel. They are not always bad to me either, they are good friends overall and I care for them for a reason, but this really frustrates me beyond measure.
I CAN'T control when I'm angry and I don't see my outburst coming! One comment sets of the entire explosion. It's like they want me to read their mind or something and see inconsiderate and condescending remarks from their side coming so I can tell them: don't say that, that'll make me angry.
Every time an argument happens and I'm involved, people immediately turn to me and tell me: Ye, John/Jane can be a bit rude sometimes/ doesn't apologise first etc. but that's just how they are and they can't change that, you should consider them for once and make up with them.
Why not the other way around? Why is there never someone who turns to the other and says: gee, that thing you said? Ye well she can't really deal with (subtly) condescending remarks like that because of her low self-esteem/ she's really paranoid and thinks you hate her when you say that/ she's afraid you might actually abandon her if you make a joke like that/ she's borderline she can't really control her emotions. It's like they don't understand that I have issues that I can't get round. I've been trying to do something for almost 2 years now!
Long story short: how do I get into their thick skulls that I'm a person too and that I have issues that I can't do anything with no matter how hard I try?!
Thanks in advance :(