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Avoidant Personality Disorder

This is a discussion on Avoidant Personality Disorder within the Personality Disorders forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; It amazes me that you're feeling like a zombie but are kind enough to post replies to a stranger. Thankyou. ...

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Old 10-08-17, 12:40 PM   #11
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It amazes me that you're feeling like a zombie but are kind enough to post replies to a stranger. Thankyou. I'd not thought of it like that before (about who I am). Now I just need to find the confidence to be me - that is the hard bit. Thanks again.
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Old 10-08-17, 04:33 PM   #12
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Hi Kate,

To have a proper diagnosis you would need to check with a psychologist or psychiatrist, specialists in mood disorders. For this in the UK I think you'd need to chat ith your doctor for a referral. Not necessarily saying "I think I have this", but noting history and how you feel in social situations with examples.

As Watashi says, we adapt ourselves to other people in our lives. This more so when we are not as comfortable in our own being that we change to fit in to how we believe others expect. It takes a braver person to be themselves always.

I can understand the need to know or be diagnosed so that you can understand and work towards "your" solutions. Despite suffering from numerous things since childhood, I didn't seek professional help until a few months ago, and it was among the things I wanted to be a little more certain of - I had read a lot over the years in an attempt to understand, but also missed a few things which I do realize were important (since being on here and others taking the time to listen and suggest - in some parts they were right).

Taking those steps can be daunting, but necessary in heading forward for us - for some it's easier than others to simply take things as they go. But as noted, we are who we are, and others in turn will react to us in their own way, whether we hide things or not.

Certainly you're not alone with this, no more strange or bizarre, unique but with similar traits as others of us.

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Do not listen to a word I say
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The only way to gain approval
Is by exploiting the very thing that cheapens me
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Old 10-11-17, 04:29 AM   #13
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Hi Andino,

I'd be interested to know what the numerous things you were suffering from were and if you worked through them. I;m a bit cynical when it comes to treatment for mental health but am willing to try a different type of therapy. I am going to go back to my doctor to see if I can be referred. I feel like a nuisance but I will do.

It has got so bad that I'm researching suicide methods and have been for the last six months because I don't want to live that way for the rest of my life.

I've just sacked a miserable abrupt, accusing, irritable friend and that has made me feel better. And I've reconnected with an old friend again who makes me feel good when we chat on the phone. I think feeling connected and wanted/useful/respected goes a long way in helping with depression. No point being on meds, going to therapy if at the end of the day we feel alone.
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Old 10-11-17, 08:38 AM   #14
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People are feeling shy because they are not sure if they are good enough for the others. Don't feel bad. It doesn't matter who you are, on the outside (it doesn't matter if you are shy, lonely...) You are who you are. Accept it. Try to understand yourself.
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Old 10-11-17, 09:41 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KateUK View Post
Hi Andino,

I'd be interested to know what the numerous things you were suffering from were and if you worked through them. I;m a bit cynical when it comes to treatment for mental health but am willing to try a different type of therapy. I am going to go back to my doctor to see if I can be referred. I feel like a nuisance but I will do.

It has got so bad that I'm researching suicide methods and have been for the last six months because I don't want to live that way for the rest of my life.

I've just sacked a miserable abrupt, accusing, irritable friend and that has made me feel better. And I've reconnected with an old friend again who makes me feel good when we chat on the phone. I think feeling connected and wanted/useful/respected goes a long way in helping with depression. No point being on meds, going to therapy if at the end of the day we feel alone.
Hi Kate,

I don't know about working through my problems, I would prefer to say I live with them, as the current triggers are ongoing situations in my life (my childhood abuses I no longer worry much about, as I moved far away).

I started to write here about myself, but it's not correct that I do so in your thread, so I have written with more detail in my journal (this post) for you.

I am very cynical about therapy and psychologists, I'm not built to accept their way of thinking. My psychiatrist is much better, and he said medications for some time and then perhaps psychotherapy.

I feel it's very important to be able to feel comfortable with the person you are talking with, and that's why talking hasn't been good for me until this psychiatrist that I do trust.

I still feel alone, not useful or respected, which yes I do think are needed for battling depression, but that's natural, it's self esteem.

You've made a great step in taking a person that is negative around you and replacing with a positive in your life. That is worth far more than any medication (in its own way it's a medication, it's therapy). I've found it's important though not to rely on just the one person though - if that person is not around when you need them, or tires of you, you need more support around you.

And that's why I like it here. To listen and help each other, when some of us don't have help at hand and need the support. It's necessary.

I've a habit of longer posts, which I apologize for - I hope I'm understood in all though, and you can talk about or ask whatever you like.
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Do not listen to a word I say
Just listen to what I can keep silent
The only way to gain approval
Is by exploiting the very thing that cheapens me
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Old 10-28-17, 11:29 AM   #16
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I am so sorry, I've just seen these replies. Thankyou both and I will go and look at your post.
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