A few years ago I started a threat title something to the affect of "I'm not capable of having meaningful relationships." At the time I thought I was being a bit dramatic. I had a very difficult time meeting people and didn't have much history with intimate relationships, but surely I'd find the right person eventually.
I've been in a relationship now for nearly 3 years and for the last year or so I've often felt something was missing. I love my girlfriend but many days I don't feel IN love with her. Taken by itself this just sounds like "hey, you just haven't found the right girl." But I felt basically the same way about my ex-girlfriend. Not long ago I told myself I could end up marrying my current gf, despite feeling that I still feel like I can't fully be myself around her. Thinking about it now, I'm not sure if I've ever been in love with anyone.
But it's not just romantic relationships. My family never had any major issues. I didn't come from a broken home, yet I've never felt close to my family at all. We've always felt more like casual friends than family, and in recent years it's hasn't even been that.
I've never had close friends. I've had almost zero friends as an adult (none for a few years now) and the few I had as a kid/teenager I always avoided like the plague.
I just thought I was shy, or had social anxiety. I never knew there was a pyschiatric term for it. I don't know if that's what I have, but years after first posting about the topic, I still feel no more certain that I have any ability to feel any sense of connection with anyone.