Lately, I've been seeing images of myself being stabbed. I don't want this, I'm not doing it purposely, It just pop up on my head. And I always try my best to make it go away by distracting myself or focusing on something. Sometimes it works, but most of the times not. I have a phobia in blood and seeing blood makes me shiver (even just in pictures).

It's really annoying especially when I'm in school in the middle of the class and those images of me being stabbed suddenly pop out. It makes me wanna puke. Thankfully, nobody seem to mind since my existence is like a shadow, though they might be thinking that I'm crazy. :/
Is it only me who is having this kind of toughs?

I want to sleep and have a piece of mind

PS: I'm not sure which section of the forums should I post this thread since I don't know what kind of disorder is this.

I have same thoughts for quite a while. Sometimes same, sometimes different, but i get hurt in either way in those thoughts. Well, to me, coping helps with those thoughts that didnt pop up coz of some action or whatever, coping with music, movies and such only helps me with bad thoughts that poped up out of nowhere.

My existence is also like shadow. And whenever i think i might go to being person, something happens and i go back to being shadow.

Keep fighting, those kind of thoughts dont have to mean that you have some sort of disorder, but if you can, you could always go and visit therapist.

Stay strong, keep fighting.

I have images and daydreams about being bullied.

I read in certain books that you can't fight the mind with the mind. Just don't put stock in the thoughts, don't be upset with them. The mind latches onto that which we find most upsetting. You can accept the thoughts, make room for them, and they may gradually disappear. Easier said than done though.

Sometimes music works for me but movies not. Blood is just too scary. And I can't get myself a therapist, we're poor.

Being a shadow sometimes has its own advantage. Though from time to time it gets hard and suffocating. I wish I was born likable like everyone else.

Thanks

I wish I don't have a phobia in blood so that I can accept those thoughts. :(


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So yesterday I didn't notice that I was already shaking in the middle of the class until my seatmate reacted.

I‘m really sorry to hear that. I wish there is a way to help you, but I never experienced anything simmilar. I used to be afraid of blood too, but lost that fear over time.
Hope things will work out for you

(((((((Noire)))))))

Its never too late to "break out of your shell". We all are different, there is someone for everyone, its just matter of whether the person will find it or not. I am sure that there are people out there that will like you, you have a good heart. You just need to find way to meet them (maybe some site for making friends? )