Voices are really hurting me
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Voices are really hurting me

This is a discussion on Voices are really hurting me within the Other Mental Health forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; I'm being ambushed by two voices: Iyanla Vanzant (from Iyanla Fix My Life on Oprah's Network) and Malcolm X. Benevolent ...

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Old 10-21-14, 06:27 PM   #1
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I'm being ambushed by two voices: Iyanla Vanzant (from Iyanla Fix My Life on Oprah's Network) and Malcolm X.

Benevolent sexism is when you think women should be sheltered for their own good, like children.

These voices are very nosy and demeaning. They are treating me like a child. They are attacking me for being different.

This is absolutely awful.

I don't know what to do!

Please help! Thanks.
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Old 10-21-14, 08:32 PM   #2
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I'm sorry. Can you drown them out? Loud music or something? Or maybe meditate or try and take a nap to sorta reset your brain?
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Old 10-22-14, 05:20 AM   #3
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I am sorry to hear that Sensual....


Defend from being attacked, what is wrong with being unique? If everyone were exactly the same people that they want to make you be, how would world function? World needs uniqueness and you have it, thats to be proud of, not ashamed for.
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Old 10-22-14, 01:28 PM   #4
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You can let Iyliana fix her own life and the future of Oprah's network. Malcom X wasn't exactly a normal guy and he's too busy enjoying 72 Vestal Virgins that never bleed. So why should he call you 'different'?

But the thing is, these voices are part of you. A part of you is beating you up and another part of you is receiving the blows. Fighting the voices equals fighting yourself, your opinions, your sense of ethics. In your case, fighting the voices means defending your darker side at all cost. But you're not going to win, and you're not going to loose. It's a stale mate.

You'll need to find a way to integrate yourself. It's not you and them, it's you. The one and only. First of all, 'they' may have something useful to say - which also means YOU have a point and you may have to actually listen to yourself a little bit more.
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Old 10-22-14, 02:06 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by SecretMillionaire View Post
But the thing is, these voices are part of you. A part of you is beating you up and another part of you is receiving the blows. Fighting the voices equals fighting yourself, your opinions, your sense of ethics.
Really? You don't think it's internalized from society/the media?
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Old 10-22-14, 03:34 PM   #6
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I don't think it's remotely possible that these voices are me telling myself that.

For example, I considered going back to hedonism for happiness and distraction. The Malcolm X voice assumed that I meant doing drugs, getting drunk, and have a bunch of one night stands after nights at the club.

I meant learning Spanish and Portuguese, getting a PhD in Latin American Studies, things like that that are somewhat important and respectable. I have never nor will I ever do drugs (besides weed in the past), I don't get blackout drunk, I only drink inside a house, I hate clubbing, I think it's immature.

I thought maybe I was beating myself up over it, but why should I? I take care of my grandmother to the point where my job is in jeopardy, I'm extremely good to my mother, I'm very close to my socially conservative sister, and I work full time.

So you see, it's not me. They're too stupid to even try to understand me.
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Old 10-22-14, 05:34 PM   #7
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Talking to myself and continuing to be a loner is working. I'm on cloud 9.

I read an article that said talking to yourself will make you more comfortable in your own skin.

I think I try to hard to gain approval from others, still! I want acceptance.

Talking to myself will teach me to accept myself fully.
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Old 10-24-14, 08:48 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SecretMillionaire View Post
You can let Iyliana fix her own life and the future of Oprah's network. Malcom X wasn't exactly a normal guy and he's too busy enjoying 72 Vestal Virgins that never bleed. So why should he call you 'different'?

But the thing is, these voices are part of you. A part of you is beating you up and another part of you is receiving the blows. Fighting the voices equals fighting yourself, your opinions, your sense of ethics. In your case, fighting the voices means defending your darker side at all cost. But you're not going to win, and you're not going to loose. It's a stale mate.

You'll need to find a way to integrate yourself. It's not you and them, it's you. The one and only. First of all, 'they' may have something useful to say - which also means YOU have a point and you may have to actually listen to yourself a little bit more.
I think you're right.

I talked to a psychologist for an hour. He told me to speak up to the voices. At first it was really hard, and still is at times. But now it's easier. I just have to keep at it.

It might be an internal conflict. Maybe I just want one man, like most women, but don't want to admit it, for a lot of reasons, like hating the double standard so much, or wanting to be very different from the norm, or not wanting to feel jealous of "sluts" who get all the glory from roving eyed men, things like that.

One of the guys I sleep with is pretty lousy in bed. But I like being around him and I'm attached. So I'm basically just doing him a favor and settling, having sex for companionship. (But on the other hand, don't most women just have sex for companionship?)

But sometimes the voices say shit that's totally stupid. Like five minutes ago, Dr. Drew said "you need to be alone for a while." He meant cut off contact with all my friends, including my best friend "Ann." Ann and I have been strictly platonic close friends for five years. We met at church. There is nothing seedy about our friendship. We have a lot in common. But Dr. Drew wants me to cut her off, because he thinks all my relationships are sexualized and involve having sex for friendship. If I ditched Ann and "Peter", I would have NO friends and feel totally isolated. It's not the end of the world not having friends, I've done it before, but still, it takes a whole lot of getting used to.

I also hate when people say women should be celibate, financially independent, or alone. Men aren't forced to be "alone for a while." They rely on women their entire lives, from mothers to sex partners, to dates to girlfriends to wives and typically the wives take care of them and the children when they get older. They even die before women. Everyone knows men need women for sex but women don't need men for money or sex? That's bullshit.

So I don't know if I'm giving society way too much credit by saying it's me telling myself that. Maybe this is internalized misogyny or something...

Anyone have thoughts?
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Old 10-24-14, 05:56 PM   #9
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Dont let voices control you. Be what you wish to be, not what you are told to be, by anyone. End dont cut off your friends, that cant help you in any way, in any scenario.

Quote:
I also hate when people say women should be celibate, financially independent, or alone. Men aren't forced to be "alone for a while." They rely on women their entire lives, from mothers to sex partners, to dates to girlfriends to wives and typically the wives take care of them and the children when they get older. They even die before women. Everyone knows men need women for sex but women don't need men for money or sex? That's bullshit.
Actually, i think dependence is mutual, in relationship both sides need each other, some more some less, depends on relationship really, but in the end its pretty much equal dependence.
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