So, I've been depressed and struggled with suicidal thoughts for as long as I can remember, but I've never been officially diagnosed with a particular brain problem situation.
The closest I came was when I checked myself into a hospital to avoid acting on my suicidal ideation in a tricky situation, and the shrink they assigned me estimated that I probably had some fun combo platter of anxiety and depression (although she pretty much dismissed what I told her about having had these feelings from early childhood, which made it very difficult to tell her anything else), put me on a mild dose of Effexor, and got me to fill out some psychological testing questionnaires, which were then forwarded to the mental health clinic in my hometown, theoretically for them to, I guess, squeeze some kind of answer out of them and help me accordingly, except that I was only in said hometown for a few weeks, staying with my parents after being released from the hospital, so the only contact I had with the place all my testing went to was a phone call in which it was concluded that if I wasn't going to be around to come to their group therapy or whatever, the only thing for them to do was throw out my file. They did; I went back to the city I was living in with friends at the time, took my meds until the prescription ran out, and continued to feel shitty, albeit with a general resolution not to do anything drastic about it.
I don't know. Is it worth wrangling with all the mangled beaurocracy and bad counsellors just to put a word to my problem? And then get to continue to wrangle with the system...presumably forever if it succeeds in helping me not kill myself? I know it helps some, but I have very little evidence of how from my own personal experience.
idk, I guess I'm also asking how you find the right help, especially when your problems include not being able to talk about your problems coherently out loud. Every avenue to help seems to involve that as a prerequisite, and I have no idea how anybody ever gets from where I am to where they seem to be under those circumstances.