At my wit's end
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At my wit's end

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Old 11-16-14, 08:13 PM   #1
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These voices have really brought me down.

I don't think I really like being a loner. A lot of times I do, but at times I feel tempted to break out and talk. Talking to people doesn't seem to present much of a problem, in terms of them being nosy or abusive anything. Really only the voices are like that. I just stopped talking to people because I feel like that's how the REALLY are, once they get to know you. I have no evidence for that though.

So I had picked up my spiritual practice. Resist nothing in the present moment. So if someone strikes up a conversation, engage; if you're alone be alone. No labels. Oneness. Stop worrying or regretting.

I was watching Eckhart Tolle. I was into it. Then I told one of the voices I was an apathetic agnostic: if there's a God, I don't care, because He has never helped me.

So then it became "oh she's easygoing because she's apathetic [in general, about everything]." Then they made me watch Eckhart Tolle (again) so I could stop being apathetic. Then they made me thank them for "introducing" me to it!! It was so frustrating.
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Old 11-16-14, 08:19 PM   #2
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I don't know what I want to do.

I do know that writing helps a lot. When I'm writing, I'm completely focused.

It ties into what positive psychology and Marty Seligman say about happiness: that it's about "flow states," getting lost in an activity, not feeling anything, happiness as a by-product, time stands still... so much for hedonism.
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Old 11-17-14, 03:30 AM   #3
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I'm definitely not a pro at this topic but I would love to hear you out 100%
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Old 11-17-14, 08:00 AM   #4
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No much intelligent to offer for advice to you SensualGirl, but, I hope you feel better soon. I'm sorry I've been away, and have missed your threads.
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Old 11-17-14, 08:32 AM   #5
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I feel better now. Sometimes I just need some sleep.

Thanks to both of you.

I'm trying to spiritual approach to dealing with the voices, mostly Eckhart Tolle and other New Age gurus.
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Old 11-17-14, 08:51 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lil unique View Post
I'm definitely not a pro at this topic but I would love to hear you out 100%
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That sounds wonderful!

Well basically I was in a lot of pain over the past week or so. I was chain smoking, drinking, underperforming at work, calling hotlines, etc.

The voices were controlling and abusive. They called me names for my sexuality. They tricked me into not questioning authority and then said "you believe everything you've been taught." These are some of the mixed signals I received in the past. I think it just boils down to jealousy, which is horrible. If I weren't taken seriously or was seen as mediocre that'd be one thing, but to be seen as threatening is quite another, representing to someone what they ought to be, making others feel insecure and inadequate just by being in their presence. Then they will stop at nothing to ruin your life.

There's also like what Crystal Orb endures: people not feeling "ok" with you unless you're generic, have no individuality, and are exactly the same as everyone else around you, the norm.

So if they call me a freak nasty ho, and I say I don't care, they say "oh you don't care about anything, you don't care about your life anymore." But if I pretend to be a monogamous woman, and one of them attacks me as a prude, most of them say "you shouldn't care what people think!" Then they yell at me to stand in front of a mirror and say "I'm beautiful, I'm confident, etc." I'm getting mighty sick of this women as beautiful thing for some reason. I guess I just don't think it's that important.
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Old 11-17-14, 10:06 AM   #7
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The New Age spiritual approach seems to be the only solution for anyone in the First World.
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Old 11-17-14, 01:55 PM   #8
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Be proud of who you are and sure in who you are and voices wont be able to hurt you in any way. Sorry for delayed response.

((((((((((((((((((((((((Sensual))))))))))))))))))) ))))
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