Hi, SensualGirl. Sorry for the late reply, but it was August bank holiday weekend so went to an annual music festival. Yesterday I was far too hung over to post, lol.
I don't really know what to say to your questions. Different people cope with things in different ways. What works for me, won't necessarily work for other people. You should do whatever makes you happy
About being a loner - It works for me. I still have friends, but I only see them when 'I' want to. Sometimes I might not see anyone for 2 months, sometimes it might be 3 times in one week. It all depends on if I feel sociable or not, which isn't that often. I don't get emotionally or physically attached to them, so when they inevitably betray my trust, I don't get hurt or stressed.
It works great for me, until I fall in love with someone, and then it all goes out the window...
About the voices - I can't really say much more at this point. For me the dark thoughts are there, just like my little finger is there, but I don't pay attention to them most of the time. I don't ignore them and I don't listen to them - they are just 'there'. Occasionally the voices get a bit loud and get me stressed, but as said I have coping mechanisms that I use when the warning signs appear.
I accepted my 'voices' as just another part of me, but I don't know how I did it, so can't really give advice on how you can do it. Maybe it just takes time?
About sex - If it makes you happy - go for it
I used to be promiscuous as a teenager. It was kind of expected in the social group I associated with ( boys and girls. ) It was a lot of fun, but generally shallow and meaningless. The amount of work you have to go through to get it ( it's much different for females ) outweighs the benefits of a drunken fumble in the back seat of a car.
When I was 17/18 I fell in love, and the sex I had with that person was 100 times better than anything I'd had before. The sex actually had some meaning rather than a quick gratification. I can get that much easier just using my right hand, lol. When I was in love, the sex meant so much more - we were actually expressing and sharing our love with our bodies. It's bliss
I have a high libido, and if I had the opportunity for no strings sex, like you do, I would most likely take advantage of it. But for a guy to get no strings sex is almost impossible, especially in my situation ( without paying for it. ) And even if I could, I would rather spend one night with someone I was in love with, than 20 nights of sex with people I barely know or cared about.
But that's me. And I'm not you, and you need to do whatever gets you through life
Question - Have you ever had sex with someone you are in love with? I mean REAL love, not the kind you get with most 'normal' people. The kind of love where you would rather hurt yourself than hurt them, where your first and last thought is making them happy, where you think about them every single second of the day, where you would rather die than live without them? Just curious, you don't have to answer if you don't want to.