Delusional
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This is a discussion on Delusional within the Other Mental Health forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; I say delusional because I don't know what else to call it. I suppose I trap myself in my own ...

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Old 05-07-14, 06:08 PM   #1
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I say delusional because I don't know what else to call it. I suppose I trap myself in my own world where, for once, I'm the one who can hurt others. I don't always, but I often do. I design my main character, who's actually a side character when it comes to storylines, after the me in the world I made. Sometimes in the story, it's just one oddly dressed person the protagonist glances and takes note of while walking through a street, or a peddler that sells him what he needs.

Sometimes, my delusions spread further. I think I see things in the shadows like the creations my other me has made, I think I hear voices from the mass that lives in my other me's veins. (To clarify, I am not Schizophrenic, just delusional) And sometimes I think that I'm them, trapped inside a human shell, and all I'd need to do is kill the shell to be free, to be me, and do all the things I could do in the world in my head. Occasionally, I've planned it, for once I get out of school. But I advert my mind then, and just return to my world, where I'm free once again.

I draw my other me everywhere. They are the reason I can draw realistic-ish humans, though they are not quite one. I say they because my other me has no gender. Since I've never been interested in anyone in such ways, I suppose my world didn't need me to have one. But even in my world, people find that strange, odd, freakish. Because even in the world that is utopia for me, people are people.
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Old 05-08-14, 08:37 AM   #2
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Hello Kaioh Key,


You don't know how much relief I'm feeling right now to actually hear someone posting about their illusions vividly.
I too have created some characters in my head.

I have 2 powerful main characters and one sub-hybrid. A hybrid because he has the power to wield any one or both the Powers of the two main characters.

Depending on my strongest emotions, I will assume a character and release my tension through him. My characters don't really have gender but using the term 'he' is better than saying 'it' because those characters are a part of me.
So, I name my strong characters Order and the other Chaos. The hybrid is the protagonist which comes in every now and then. Kind of like your character which is usually sideline.
I will play a certain kind of music to set the background and my mind will set the props for my character to help, destroy or simply observe; to love, to hate or simply watch.

I know this won't help much but I don't really know what you're trying to say.
Sorry.
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Old 05-09-14, 01:49 PM   #3
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I do the same thing with the music as well, using it to set the scene of my world.

As for what I wanted with this post, I guess I wanted to see if anyone else created a world like it. I'm going to start recording the things that happen in mine in a leather sketchbook with pulp paper I got yesterday.
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Old 05-10-14, 11:45 PM   #4
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So, guess me telling you this sort of helps???

I dare not write them down as I fear writing it down will compel me to follow them. I'm walking a fine line between reality and fantasy.

Just holding out until the day I get help or just end up in an insane ward.

Well, good luck to your endeavours. If you don't believe in luck, then may the variables favour you.
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Quote:
"There's always 2 views and 1 sub view, but which to choose. To complicate further, in each decision itself, there are another 2 views and another 1 sub view."
by Turmoil (aka Me).

Quote:
"I believe that we are responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word and thought throughout our Lifetime."
by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.
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