its been very long time since i was on here, in fact last time i posted was 3 years ago. I had life exactly where i wanted it, then the powers inside me decided to fuck it up.
In those years, I lost my partner to a car accident, and i lost my next parter(not in death) to mental health, i had been waiting for over a decade to be given a label of what I had and after seeing a specialist, they concluded i had, Bi Polar, PTSD and Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder.
The worst part about it is the person i lost was a woman i loved, was my self with. Truly a soulmate. She had two beautiful kids and I was a father too them. The mental health issues make me go into a self destruct and its horrible. Ive lost every6thing in the space of two months. and its only me to blame.
My partner stuck around for a month after my initial self destruct. I kept lying and things got worse, when s decided enough was enough and fuck my best mate!!!
The day after i caught her out i took an overdose. of certralene, i took 78 tablets. I flatlined twice, and i suffered a stroke in the meantime. It has almost cost me my musical career. Thankfully it hasn't. People ask me do i have suicidal thoughts.... No but i don't want to be here. Its ironic isn't it.... how one thing can keep you alive. My band and my music is the only thing that does.
Im scared for what my future holds and one day i might succeed when in hindsight i love my life regardless of my issues.
Im a victim to my own brain and it hurts, cause i hurt the people around me.The only upside is that I have been put on fluoxetine and lamotrogene. Feel great right now.