I feel morally obligated to help people because they have helped me along the way.
But I fear sabotage.
I feel like people are just jealous of me because I'm a happy free spirit. I feel like they want to ruin my life.
The voices constantly shoot down my ideas, ideas that make happy.
For example, I'm a hedonist and they called me "campy."
They pressure me to be a stoic when I think stoicism is a farce. They pressure me to work hard and "pull myself up by the bootstraps." I ask myself, "when I'm on my deathbed, will I think that I wish I had worked more?'" Besides, I think success is a process that doesn't have to be serious. Do It Well, Make It Fun.
And these are the types of ideas I feel compelled to spread. Of course it seems totally far fetched. This world has so much suffering: war, disease, etc. But we didn't ask to be born and this might work for some people.
It might lead people to talk advantage of me. Crabs in a barrel: if one crab climbs out of the barrel, the other crabs yank him back down to the bottom, so they all share the same fate.
So should I just forget people and look out for myself?