1. I don't have much in common with most people. I'm different, I'm more philosophical, more alternative, think things through, less conventional. People try to enforce their normalcy rules on me, like trying to get me to be a Christian, stop dressing like a hippie, dress like a normal, plain person, stop using labels, etc.
2. I don't do drama. I choose peace.
3. I don't get anything out of socializing. There's rarely a deep connection formed that would help me on my healing journey. It's usually just meaningless small talk, if not more pain.
4. The thought of being social makes me anxious and filled with angst. I fear there will be irritation and conflict, and that when I try to cut the person off they will suck me back in. I don't think conflicts can be resolved. I don't believe in justice, I think justice for one person is injustice for another.
In life, whenever I tried to resolve a conflict, I would get more and more depressed: the other person would deflect, give me flack, try to be right instead of trying to achieve a resolution, lecture me like I'm a problem child, and if I apologized, it wasn't enough, even if I just wanted an apology from them.
Should I just forget people and move on to a solitary life?