Am I a nutter? Am I crazy? Or is it just me...?
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Am I a nutter? Am I crazy? Or is it just me...?

This is a discussion on Am I a nutter? Am I crazy? Or is it just me...? within the Other Challenges forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; Okay, so I've never told anyone I have these kind of thoughts, but I just wondered, is it normal? Because ...

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Old 02-14-11, 09:06 AM   #1
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Default Am I a nutter? Am I crazy? Or is it just me...?

Okay, so I've never told anyone I have these kind of thoughts, but I just wondered, is it normal? Because for as long as I can remember I've always had thoughts like this...

So, I was sitting in a car parked on the side of the road on Thursday, all the traffic was coming in my direction and I just suddenly really wanted a car, van or ever better a lorry to crash into me. I was wishing every car I saw coming to crash into me. I'd watch them closely, waiting for something to happen, but nothing did. I must have been in the car for about 20 minutes before the driver came back and when they did I felt very deflated that nothing had happened to me.

I've had other things, like one day I was crossing a road, and a car was coming towards me, so I slowed down. I was wishing it to hit me, I didn't stop, I just slowed down, hoping that the car would speed up and hit me before I reached the pavement. It didn't.

So, does anyone else have thoughts like this?
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Old 02-14-11, 11:04 AM   #2
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I totally know what you mean, I'm going through the same thing as well. See for you, is it like you dont even need any bad thing thats just happend to feel like that? Its just that you see any oppurtunity to end it. thats how I feel, so your not alone and i hope i can help in anyway, x
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Old 02-14-11, 11:13 AM   #3
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Nothing really has to happen for me to have these thoughts, I just suddenly get them. They just pop into my head and I can't get rid of them. It's hard to explain I guess...
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Old 02-14-11, 11:22 AM   #4
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Oh yes i agree ,i wish my heart would stop right now ,and never beat again.
i am so sorry you are feeling like this
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Old 02-14-11, 11:36 AM   #5
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Had one of those thoughts today actually when I was walking along a busy main road.
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Old 02-14-11, 11:50 AM   #6
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Thank you for commenting, it's nice to know I'm not the only one.

PaddedRoom - Even though you had the thoughts I'm glad nothing came of them! :)

Blue - I'm also sorry you feel like this.
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Old 02-14-11, 12:05 PM   #7
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I've had them in the past. I think they're reasonably common amongst depressives actually. Even if you're not suicidal you might think of suicide or death. I'm not saying 'don't worry', obviously it's important to keep an eye on these sorts of thoughts. But you're not crazy, they're just one of the symptoms of depression.
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Old 02-14-11, 01:20 PM   #8
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I've been suicidal, I've tried and failed 4 times, but this is different.

It's just in the moment, all of a sudden I get these thoughts. Afterwards I feel almost sad that it didn't happen, but after an hour or so it goes...usually sometimes I dwell on it, but usually I get over it. They're just implusive thoughts I guess. Its not like when I'm suicidal, because when I get suicidal I actually do something about it, but with these it's just a thought, a wish, something that could happen and I want it to happen, but so far it hasn't happend.

Does any of this make sense?
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Old 02-14-11, 01:22 PM   #9
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Completely, and it's exactly the sort of thing I've had in the past when my depression was a lot worse than it is now. I used to get impulsive, intrusive thoughts quite often, sometimes very disturbing ones. As I said before, you're not alone in having them. It's not like you're suddenly gonna flip and go insane at any moment.
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Old 02-14-11, 01:29 PM   #10
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Haha, thanks Billy! :D Like I said I haven't mentioned these to anyone before, I never thought there was much point tbh. But, I just wanted to see if anyone else had them, obviously they do...it's sort of comforting to know someone else understands you. So, thank you!
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