Trying not to obsess
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Trying not to obsess

This is a discussion on Trying not to obsess within the OCD forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; It's been 11 days since she hasn't shown up and 24 days since we last talked regularly. I try not ...

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Old 10-22-14, 07:24 PM   #1
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It's been 11 days since she hasn't shown up and 24 days since we last talked regularly. I try not to obsess over it but it's getting harder and harder not to. I know she's all alone with her infant with financial problems and probably a broken heart and I'm constantly worried about her. I try not to but I'm down to checking online every 15 minutes and I check the news in her area just as often. I don't want it to get worse but it seems it's inevitable. I decided to postpone looking for a job for an extra week because she's all I can think about at the moment. The first of the month is coming and I'm worried she could become homeless. I offered her a place to stay and I sent her some money just in case but she doesn't know about either and she has always refused to come here in the past. She was always scared I'd abandon her in a place unfamiliar to her because she could never trust anyone in her life since she's been betrayed so many times by the people she should have been able to count on. I hate being so far away from her... I need her close to me and I know she needs someone too. I hope she'll be able to fight that fear one day.

A few days ago, I got really scared because an infant as old as her son died close to her area and since at first he was still fighting for his life, no name was revealed and I was afraid it could be them.

I know what it's like when my OCD fully kicks in and I'm trying to avoid it. I know I won't sleep and I'll be checking hundreds of times a day, I won't be able to do anything else and I will get panick attacks on a regular basis.
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Old 10-22-14, 09:17 PM   #2
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Sorry to hear that.
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Old 10-23-14, 04:11 AM   #3
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I am really sorry to hear that.

Just try and be there for her, and if worst case scenario happens, dont hate yourself, you tried, you been there for you as much as you can, and that means a lot. But i am sure and i hope it wont come to worst case scenario, she should know that having person like you on her side means a lot, and i bet she knows that.

Best wishes, hope everything goes okay.
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Old 10-23-14, 07:38 PM   #4
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Oh, if I didn't make it clear enough, once the infant died, the names were released and I learned it wasn't them the day after. That night was horrible though. I really really hope she's ok and I hope she'll accept coming here this time but I doubt it. I hate being this far away from her.

I hope they are safe and her mind isn't torturing her.
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Old 10-24-14, 09:10 PM   #5
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Today was easier... I only checked emails 34 times, news in her area 27 times and obituaries twice. I still can't concentrate on something for long though. It always comes back to her and her son. I hope she's ok... I hope she'll accept to come here... I need her in my life and I know she needs me too...
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Old 10-25-14, 08:26 AM   #6
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I wish things go well for you two...
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Old 10-26-14, 12:06 AM   #7
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Whenever the news in her area says something happened to a woman, a mother or a child, I fear it's them and my anxiety goes through the roof. Thankfully, over half the time, the people involved are named but for the rest of the time, the anxiety lingers. I know it's not good for me to check there often but on the other hand, it's my only way to know if something did happen. Not knowing if something happened is worse than learning about something that did occur.
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