Perfection
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Perfection

This is a discussion on Perfection within the OCD forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; I really can't stand my own mistakes sometimes. It's driving me insane. I recently sent someone an e mail and ...

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Old 12-05-12, 08:24 AM   #1
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I really can't stand my own mistakes sometimes. It's driving me insane. I recently sent someone an e mail and there was a major typo in it. I tried ignoring it but I felt like crying. I sort of hurt myself because I felt like I had to be punished. I don't know how to let go of these things. I always get so angry at myself cause I ought to know how avoid those mistakes.
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Old 12-05-12, 10:41 AM   #2
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It's clear that your frustration at yourself runs quite deep and manifests itself in everything that you do. The email is just a symptom of a far bigger problem and hence it's unlikely that the fix is simple. However, that's not to say that you can't fight against the impulse to punish yourself. Sometimes you'll fail to do that but even just trying is a good start.

Nobody can be perfect in everything that they do and that is for a couple or reasons. Firstly, we're human, we're not robots. We can't repeat every action in the exact same way every single time. We learn, we improve, we change, we age, we move, we don't stand still. Every change makes a difference to the things that we do. It would be like trying to throw a dart at a moving dart board. Each time it moves we need to adjust and sometimes we will miss.

Secondly, perfection is subjective. What you might view as perfect I might view as less than perfect, or way more than I would call perfect. Yet another moving target. You might say that you have your own standards of perfection but they are bound to be influenced by the outside world. You can't live up to a standard that doesn't actually exist in any real sense that you can define. We're not talking about being perfect in one particular discipline here, you are asking yourself to be perfect in everything and that is trying to achieve a global standard where there is none.

Try and embrace your humanity. Our ability to adapt is what makes us so dominant as a species. If we didn't make mistakes then we'd never learn and we'd never grow. We'd never do things differently. We'd stand still. We'd be robots. When you make a mistake just forgive yourself for being human and resolve to do better next time. Most of all, don't forget that genuine intent to do right is worth an awful lot in itself. If you don't always hit the mark at least you can always say that you tried to and intended to.
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Old 12-05-12, 12:03 PM   #3
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You're probably right. I don't know why I feel so wrong all the time. I feel unable to validate myself though so I feel I have to reach people's standards. I'm afraid I'll disappoint them. These are people I like though.
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Old 12-05-12, 12:40 PM   #4
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I always felt like I did everything wrong as a child. My father would do my homework with me. If I really screwed up a math equation then my father would spank me with his belt. I always felt like I was a mistake in and of myself.
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Old 12-05-12, 01:54 PM   #5
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i know it's hard growing up like that, and it idk, shapes how you think i guess.. least for me it does.. and idk.. tbh, i don't see you as a "mistake", but rather as a kind and caring person..

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Old 12-05-12, 02:04 PM   #6
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Thank you, Pixie
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Old 12-05-12, 02:08 PM   #7
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Mistakes are a beautiful thing Alice. They made us who we are. They help us learn and become who we are. One of the best things there is about being human is that we have imperfections that make us different. Keeps us from being robots. Try to go easy on yourself, easier said then done. But embrace yourself, all of you.
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Old 12-05-12, 02:08 PM   #8
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Pixie - you're nice and caring too by the way <3
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Old 12-05-12, 02:09 PM   #9
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thanks.. :)

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Old 12-05-12, 02:15 PM   #10
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XXC - I know it's what makes us different. I want to go easy on myself but it feels so hard. I've always wanted to feel great and beautiful. I try really hard to be that. I feel as if I always fail.
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