My OCD and how I coped
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My OCD and how I coped

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Old 04-24-16, 10:41 PM   #1
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Default My OCD and how I coped

When I was in my early 20's I noticed a huge change in my behavior. I was never a person who had a ritual when I woke up or when I went to sleep however little by little I started doing strange things that I could not stop. Mine involved counting, usually in 5'a or 7's for about 10- 15 reps. It wasn't bad at first, I checked my alarm clock repeatedly as well as the locks on all my doors. Then it started getting to the point where I couldn't sleep because I was constantly needing the assurance that my doors were locked and my alarm was set at the right time. I knew something was terribly wrong yet I told no one, not even my closest friend. I started drinking wine before I went to sleep so I wouldn't be tempted to go through the nightly ritual I'd grown to despise. A few glasses turned into a half bottle, then a whole until I was drinking over 2 bottles a night just to not be so anxious. I caught myself and stopped drinking to put my mind at bay. Over the years it subsided until my son was born, then it started all over again. This time it was reps of his breathing patterns, I would sty awake most of the night counting. His dad would ask me what u was doing and I would just say I was checking on the baby. I had to literally force myself to stop and it was grueling. I have insomnia to this day but my OCD has subsided immensely and I hope it won't rear its ugly head again...ever
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