I'm looking at this from a distance - I think I've had little mannerisms all my life but never thought of it this way before. Wash my hands a lot, brush my teeth four times a day usually, I like everything at right angles so anything tilted, I have to fix. Definitely not a clean freak, though... my room's almost always a mess. I'll sweep the floors every day, fold clean clothes, put them in the dresser neatly, but I think of it more as a chore than something I really want to do. Just makes life easier when there's not a huge pile of crap laying everywhere.
This thing with language, though, just hit me out of the blue a few weeks ago. I've been having these anxious feelings for a while - I did some work for a customer last week and this sense of imminent doom settled over me and I could not for the life of me figure out what the hell was causing it. The customer was happy with the work I did, for all intents and purposes, I probably didn't look or act like I was experiencing such a strong feeling, but it was there like a cloud, touching everything around me.
I'm looking for a job at the moment. I have to redo my resume, and with this crap going on, I sincerely don't think that's going to be easy. I hope my friend's as good of a friend as I think he is - I'm going to ask if he can help me with it. I can't even bring myself to open the thing. That's a can of worms. As soon as I open it, I'll be stuck editing and revising, editing and revising, forever and it'll be worse than it was to begin with by the time I can tear myself away from it.
Anyone have any advice on dealing with this sort of thing? I'm having a better day today than I was yesterday, but it's like I can feel that anxiety in the back of my mind, just waiting to get started again. I'm uninsured and basically broke right now, so I don't think I'll be able to get in to see anyone for it for a while.