contamination OCD, of a different sort
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contamination OCD, of a different sort

This is a discussion on contamination OCD, of a different sort within the OCD forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; My OCD started late in my life. It is so strange not worrying but then suddenly I am like this. ...

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Old 02-27-20, 11:50 AM   #1
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Default contamination OCD, of a different sort

My OCD started late in my life. It is so strange not worrying but then suddenly I am like this. When it first came up it was very strong. I would shower for 3 hours, and did not leave my house until every 2 weeks just to mow the lawn. I gradually got it to lessen, and so now I can virtually go out everyday, I can touch things in public, in fact I even went on a vacation to Europe, so I slept in rented rooms where others have been. I even now dance with girls so sometimes they touch me.

I have contamination OCD, but it is a little different.
I am not so worried about germs. I think there is a disgust factor, so yes I do not like public bathrooms, but I do not think that is my biggest concern. My proof is that I have gone to hospitals voluntarily tagging along when my mother tried to visit people, and hospitals are where the sick with germs go to.

But my biggest concern is stain and also even mildly acidic stuff. No it wont kill me but I want my stuff to lasts for a long time. I am just sick and tired of having some favorite clothing worn out quickly, have holes or end up with stains. And I do not want to buy as much clothes as I use to, I am not rich. I want to reserve my money for other things now. I even worry if a stain will transfer to another clothing if I wash it, and even tiny spots of stains bother me. This is also another reason why I do not like public bathrooms, as human waste can both stain and are acidic.

I also love books, and I keep them in pristine condition. I have a $200 book and a few that are $100. Even the cheaper ones I like them clean.

For a long while I was very afraid to touch things in public, indeed for a while I hardly went out. And when I went out I always was careful what and how to touch things, and not to touch myself, like my face or arms until got to go home and wash my hands. Now I can go home and not even wash my hands, unless I think I touched something very dirty, acidic stain inducing.

It is not completely gone however. And I am still given to washing things, like I recently washed the inside door at the back of the car because I saw someone had left a burger king food wrapper. That took me 2 hours to clean.

Also recently something upset me even more. My mother bought these polvoron and ate some of them. If you know what those are they are dust candy, they crumble into tiny pieces and can easily get blown, drift in places. These particular ones she had were colored purple. And I have told her those things bother me and to never buy them again. When I saw them I threw them away in the trash can. I told her I did that and was upset. I felt insulted when she was more concerned about them and that she could have given them to her friend. And because this worries me so much, I am afraid to touch my things. I am afraid to open my book case and some tiny dust of purple colored candy will make it there. I am afraid to watch tv because the area I sit has my books in them and I might carry polvoron there too. I currently do not want to get out of the house because I am worried it might stain my clothes. I am so emotionally distressed also. I was planning to take a dancing class but now I can't. I wanted to take it during the colder season, and they even had a special discount. I am not gonna take dancing during the summer because I like to go outside then and not be in classes and will the classes be more expensive then? So now I'm gonna be left out, I don't know how to dance certain dances. I am just so frustrated.
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