Bad thoughts/self abuse thoughts
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Bad thoughts/self abuse thoughts

This is a discussion on Bad thoughts/self abuse thoughts within the OCD forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; Hello. I'm not sure if this belongs here, but based on a description of OCD that I've read, I think ...

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Old 09-09-11, 06:24 AM   #1
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Default Bad thoughts/self abuse thoughts

Hello.

I'm not sure if this belongs here, but based on a description of OCD that I've read, I think it does.

I honestly don't know how normal or unnormal these thoughts are in general, but I am sure that I have them too often and that there is generally speaking "something wrong."

It doesn't happen all the time, but it does happen. I'm doing something and think about how it would feel to hurt myself with it (even thinking that I deserve such a thing). There was a stretch for months where I thought a lot about hurting myself. Like it would feel like a release of some kind. This was (I think) after having seen a film with some graphic scenes.

Naturally, I am embarrassed for mentioning this, but I think this is one of the only places I can go to in order to share my thoughts.

It probably even sounds cartoonish.

Last edited by Ella; 09-21-11 at 07:35 AM.
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Old 09-14-11, 09:34 PM   #2
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Apparently, according to information I read online about OCD, people who have it tend to have 'inappropriate thoughts'. I never knew what this meant exactly but I would to have graphic thoughts, often violent too. It would seem like doing these things would have some kind of 'release'. But to no avail it never came to me :/ so I try to steer my thought somewhere else and question why I think these things. I don't know why certain people with OCD think this way but it's nice to know that I'm not alone :)
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Old 09-16-11, 10:45 AM   #3
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I think my problem with this was much worse when I was younger (violent thoughts in general). Things would come into my head that I'm not sure if I could even open up to a doctor about it.

These thoughts about self abuse have subsided a lot, too. It still happens from time to time, though.
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Old 09-18-11, 06:40 PM   #4
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Yeah I understand that doctor part. I feel like if I told a doctor then they would say it's because I'm depressed. I am but that isn't the exact reason. At first I that's what I thought. I wouldn't have sexual thoughts that were crazy, but violent ones that would scare me. It's because we aren't in 'control' of our obsession. But if we expose ourselves to our fears enough times it won't be as difficult as doing it all at once. This will take some time and will only work if you seek help from a professional. I don't trust doctors to well so I understand if you are hesitant to see them about this. ((((Heinrick)))) I'm here if you ever want to talk :)
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Old 09-18-11, 08:00 PM   #5
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Hey Heinrick!

You know, I too have had those struggles in the past about violent thoughts randomly coming into my head. I didn't think that they were too much of a problem and didn't bother with them for years. One day I realized that I didn't want to allow those violent thoughts to take up any space in my mind. After all, I really wouldn't hurt myself physically and I hate the feeling of pain. (Plus, I couldn't stand the added horrible nightmares every night.)

What really helped me get on the right path was learning more about the scientific findings on the brain. One neurologist, Dr. Caroline Leaf, discovered that with something called neuroplasty (something our brains have) we can actually rewrite our thoughts, memories and thought processes!

One guy, Dr. Hegstrom, had a stroke and after training himself to use the neuroplasty to "wire around" the damage in his brain, he now speaks and thinks better than before the stroke. And the other doctors (who weren't neurologists) said he wouldn't be able to do all that!

I know that Dr. Leaf has several books, some of which I have read. One that helped me the best was one called "Who Switched Off My Brain? Rewriting Toxic Thoughts". If you are interested you can find it in any book store (if you don't have the money to buy it, you can sit in the store and read it).

Now I don't have to let those thoughts run their course in my head and there is more to our thoughts than this! So, I want to encourage you and tell you that if I can do it, you can do it! For sure!
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Old 09-20-11, 07:58 AM   #6
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@Roses: Thanks for the kind words and the offer.

@Lightupthesky: This sounds interesting. It's also a strange thought that we can rewrite our memories.
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Old 09-23-11, 12:42 AM   #7
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It does sound strange, I agree. It's different and interesting though, not like an "erasing" like a tape, but a re-writing of viewpoint and emotions/reactions connected to the memory.

Note: I like the little tasks in the book that help train your brain to sort out toxic thoughts and re-write them like, spontaneous "maze" writing. :)
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