Why can't guys be depressed?
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Why can't guys be depressed?

This is a discussion on Why can't guys be depressed? within the Male Issues forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; I see a lot of people posting on social media, or talking with their friends about their depression, or issues ...

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Old 12-18-15, 11:25 PM   #1
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Default Why can't guys be depressed?

I see a lot of people posting on social media, or talking with their friends about their depression, or issues that they might be having, and they get a lot of support and positive feedback and just love and respect from their peers. When I try to do that though, looking for the same sort of response...I get ignored. And I wind up having to deal with my issues on my own and pick myself up on my own. Again.

I seem to notice that the disparity is worst between the sexes. Like, girls can say that stuff all they want, and will have loads of people there to support them. But, when a guy does it, there's a whole lot of nothing (or, even worse, jokes and derision). Is it such a stigma for guys to need support, or to be vulnerable, or to even ask for help?

I don't get it.
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Old 12-19-15, 03:28 AM   #2
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Well, people often consider depression as a sign of weakness. And, well, you know how people look on you when you're male and "weak". This is just another evidence of how ridiculus and fucked up society is.
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Old 12-19-15, 03:28 AM   #3
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Guys can be depressed as much or probably even more as within many cultures/society they are expected to snap out of it and perform. Today there is more support for guys with depression but not enough and there is still the stigma. It seems more acceptable for guys to have more anger issues than depressive issues.

Yes it seems that there is so much support for certain people or more so women especially if they are considered attractive, charming or something likeable in someway. As much as there is moral support there is much behind their back criticism going on, plus as it might appear other people might be supportive for the wrong reasons and thus prey on the vulnerable. There is more, but you may already know this or get the point.

Sometimes, just finding the right place, people, time etc. helps. Sometimes, yes I can understand that most of the time you have to deal with it on your own at the end of the day.

Sorry that you have been going through this and know how unsupportive people can be in general.

Also hopefully others would have something better to say about this and throw some moral support your way.
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Old 01-01-16, 02:30 AM   #4
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you're absolutely right. There are very clear double standards in how people respond to men suffering from mental/physical illness. Apparently men aren't allowed to complain about anything. I've never been offered support or empathy by anyone aside from my mother. Nope... All I ever got was "it's your fault, ""stop playing the victim," and "man up." Life would be a breeze if I was an attractive female. I fucking hate society.
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Old 01-01-16, 10:35 AM   #5
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I think for men, depression can come in different forms than it does for women. Trust me, as a guy who has had depressive feelings, I know what it's like to try and share your feelings only for people to laugh at you for being weak. So, I kept it all inside which made things worse.
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Old 01-25-16, 03:28 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ForeverWithoutAVoice View Post
I think for men, depression can come in different forms than it does for women. Trust me, as a guy who has had depressive feelings, I know what it's like to try and share your feelings only for people to laugh at you for being weak. So, I kept it all inside which made things worse.

Me too. We are generally not allowed to have or express emotions beyond a certain level. Stiff upper lip and suck it up, all that jazz.
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Old 02-01-16, 07:53 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ForeverWithoutAVoice View Post
I think for men, depression can come in different forms than it does for women. Trust me, as a guy who has had depressive feelings, I know what it's like to try and share your feelings only for people to laugh at you for being weak. So, I kept it all inside which made things worse.
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Me too. We are generally not allowed to have or express emotions beyond a certain level. Stiff upper lip and suck it up, all that jazz.
Well put and yes, I got the same as well. Worst part was when two former girlfriends were abusive toward me, most people who I thought were friends and some family members thought it was hilarious and I was nothing more than a source of amusement to them. And when I was single and not looking for anyone else, I was ridiculed even more. Pretty much a lonely part of my life.

Society demands that men are strong with no emotions or weaknesses. The ones who dare to be human are considered inferior and not worthy of life at best or deserving of a good hard kick in the rear on a daily basis. Damned if we do and damned if we don`t.
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Old 02-01-16, 11:53 PM   #8
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CaptainPanda - Your not alone my friend, I am consistently having to deal with my issues on my own and pick myself up on my own....again, and again, and again, and again.
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Old 05-29-17, 04:46 PM   #9
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It's thanks to modern feminism teaching people that men are nothing but expendable pawns, to be used and abused then blamed for all the world's ills.
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Old 06-01-17, 05:51 AM   #10
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It could be that your friends are arseholes - there's a lot of them around. Conversely it is very draining to be around someone who is depressed, It's difficult to know what you say and whatever you say will probably be wrong. I've been on both sides of this and actually I think it can be easier to deal with being depressed than deal with someone who is depressed,
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