sexuality/opening up - male opinion please!
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sexuality/opening up - male opinion please!

This is a discussion on sexuality/opening up - male opinion please! within the Male Issues forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; The background: my ex is 25 and just starting to realise he has a big problem with depression, we were ...

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Old 05-16-11, 11:32 AM   #1
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Default sexuality/opening up - male opinion please!

The background: my ex is 25 and just starting to realise he has a big problem with depression, we were together for approx 3 years and v close mates/seeing each other for 6 years.

He finished the relationship about 6 months ago, and I can now see that 99% of our problems were at least made worse by his depression, at the time he was denying he had a problem and I hadn't noticed how much of an impact it was having. We have continued to speak most days and see each other since, including being intimate, not just sex but all the cuddling too.

Over the last few months he has decided he is probably bi, although is adamant not gay, his behaviour in relation to this has been incredibly destructive but I can't work out whether it's a cause or a symptom of the depression.

Despite that I really think we could be good together again, we still get on well and we're still attracted to each other, but he is determined to resist letting me in at all.. any ideas why?!

I have finally persuaded him to see a doctor tomorrow but I'm really struggling with how to help now, we don't live together anymore but no one else is aware of his problems. I just want us to be a team again and start to fix everything, I've had my own battle with depression before so I am aware that our relationship can only be dealt with when he's sorted out other issues but he won't let me in at all, yet is still reliant on me!

A male opinion and advice would be great, I'm really running out of ideas!


..oops, sorry, bit long!
MintyOwl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-11, 12:00 PM   #2
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He could be bi-curious as he's never truly been with a guy. I don't think you can say his depression has cause him to believe he's bi; don't be in-denial, if he finds men attractive then you have to accept that.
However, you seem like you know what needs to be done, he needs help before you's can try being in a relationship again. Hopefully he'll learn to open up to you as well, then after treatment.
I'd personally would suggest to only be friends with him, and stop with being intimate until he opens up and is 'recovering'.
SaveMeJeebus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-21-11, 03:24 AM   #3
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Perhaps the both of you should seek counseling.
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