scared of intimacy
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scared of intimacy

This is a discussion on scared of intimacy within the Male Issues forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; I'm not the horny knuckle dragging moron, which apparently I should be. Sure I have a libido, but I've never ...

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Old 06-06-11, 11:50 PM   #1
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I'm not the horny knuckle dragging moron, which apparently I should be. Sure I have a libido, but I've never been remotely close to that sort of situation, the thought of being intimate with a girl scares the crap out of me. What the fuck man?
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Old 06-07-11, 01:44 AM   #2
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I feel the same way. Even if I were able to get into that situation, I doubt I would enjoy it. I would be stressed out of my mind the entire time. Just holding hands freaks me out

Sex is a reason for me to avoid relationships. If hell froze over, and a girl showed an interest in me, I probably wouldn't go for it; She would eventually pull the kissy love crap on me and I would make a fool of myself.

^ Ah, who am I kidding? I would try and fail miserably.

Frankly, I'm kind of content with just having a wank every once in a while, keeping fantasy and life separate. Too bad that makes me a loser.
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Old 06-07-11, 12:44 PM   #3
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Frankly, I'm kind of content with just having a wank every once in a while, keeping fantasy and life separate. Too bad that makes me a loser.

If that makes you a loser then Iíd say that about 90% of the human race are the exact same, stop being so hard on yourself my friend, what youíre doing is perfectly normal.

@PheonixBomb is there any particular aspect that scares you? Your performance? Being compared to others? Knowledge? A lot of these things can all be addressed in their own separate way so donít despair dude.
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Old 06-07-11, 09:21 PM   #4
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Everything lol. What do you mean by knowledge? As in lack of experience?
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Old 06-08-11, 12:30 AM   #5
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Yes that's what I meant. Is that what scares you? It can be a big hurdle to overcome, especially for men but its really nothing to worry about.
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Old 06-08-11, 11:45 AM   #6
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How I look, performance, experience. :(
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Old 06-08-11, 03:08 PM   #7
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There is nothing to worry about my friend. Performance and experience will naturally develop over time, despite what magazines and movies have you believe, no one is ever a super-stud during their first few times and itís perfectly normal. If youíre really worried then read a few how-to guides online but just remember that real life is hardly like what you see in porn films so donít believe you have to perform like them.

As for looks, while this is something that can be improved through grooming, healthy eating and exercise remember this: if youíre already intimate with someone then chances are theyíre already comfortable with your looks and its not even a problem. Heck even if you are butt ugly (like me) once you develop confidence this will never ever be a problem when it comes to meeting partners, trust me on this, and if someone is superficial enough to judge you purely on your looks then theyíre not worth being with in the first place.

If you want further reassurance then feel free to ask but youíll be fine champ, there really is nothing to worry about, everyone is a little nervous at first but once you get the hang of things that will clear up in no time at all.
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Old 06-10-11, 01:02 AM   #8
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I have the same insecurities, Phoenix, but I've also developed a contempt for the belief that it's so miraculously awesome. If sex is half as good as everyone makes it out to be, then my mind will be blown with the first awkward hump, and the addiction would take me downhill from there. I have to hold that off for as long as possible, or at least until I get a girl I can stick with and get some consistently.

A part of me is disgusted with the thought of enjoying it and playing along with everyone else. Perpetuating the sensational bullshit. Being "normal". But my antisocial tendencies are another matter.

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Heck even if you are butt ugly (like me) once you develop confidence this will never ever be a problem when it comes to meeting partners, trust me
I agree with this, an ugly guy who enjoys himself will retain the appeal much longer than a beautiful prick. (heh.)
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