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This is a discussion on Help within the Male Issues forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; I have had quite a couple weeks, I have been suffering from depression for a while, I faced it talked ...

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Old 08-20-15, 03:40 PM   #1
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I have had quite a couple weeks, I have been suffering from depression for a while, I faced it talked to a counselor and it was confirmed it was much much more severe than I thought. All while this is going on I have found out my soon to be wife (in a week, literally 7 days) has been carrying on an emotional affair over the last month and a half at least, I recognize that I brought this on because I shut down due to my depression before I realized what was going on or was diagnosed, I'm absolutely crushed, I'm having panic attacks, I can't get to seem to get my mind off it, I even tried Marijuana today, not helpful at all. She knows I know something was going on, I know more was going on than she admits, nothing physical I don't think, he lives in Sout Carolina us in Midwest. When I'm not sad or crushed by this I am just angry, that seems to be my only emotions as of late. We are working on us but I'm not sure she understands she has to never speak to him or plans on never speaking to him again, as of now we are still going through with wedding... I just feel like it's all me, all my fault that I am not good enough... does anyone have any input anything to make me feel better? Please
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Old 08-21-15, 07:29 AM   #2
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I am really sorry to hear about all of this

I dont think i can say something smart here. But depression is hard, its something that almost all people on this site have been or are going through. It causes a big toll on persons mind, but that "old" person, person before depression is still there, just trapped in veil of some strange unexplainable darkness. Emotional cheating is a bit odd i guess... I mean its hard to separate romantic feelings from friendly feelings. What differs them is sexual attraction and level of intimacy and general connection between 2 people. But if she loves you she should try to be supportive and nice and everything towards you. To help you feel better and not to go around seeking for possible affair.

But even though it happened what happened, i do think that every relationship can be fixed with decent effort from both sides. We live in age where stuff that get broken are tossed away without trying to fix it before tossing it away, similar thing is happening to relationships. Maybe relationship counseiling would be good for you two?



I wish you very best, keep your heart safe. Work on getting better. You will getter
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Old 08-26-15, 09:10 PM   #3
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Thanks, I just feel like me and this relationship is doomed... I fucking hate this, I have no idea what to do, I feel like she's sticking around because she I scared I'll do something to myself, I feel like I'm renting space or splitting her heart
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Old 08-27-15, 12:42 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChicagoMike View Post
All while this is going on I have found out my soon to be wife (in a week, literally 7 days) has been carrying on an emotional affair over the last month and a half at least, I recognize that I brought this on because I shut down due to my depression before I realized what was going on or was diagnosed,
If she seeks comfort in another man because you are depressed while engaged, what do you think she is going to do while married? I know marriage means very little to most people these days, but you are supposed to be making a commitment to stand by one another through good times and bad. It seems she cannot be that committed now, so she really cannot be ready to marry in 7 days. I hope you make the right decision.
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