I'm in my last year of high school ... and I've always had a lot of trouble talking to/having relationships with girls. Recently, I've been talking/flirting with this girl a lot. She's kind and beautiful and I think she's incredible, but I don't know how she feels about me. Part of me really wants to tell her how I feel and see if the feeling is reciprocated... and to tell her fairly soon for fear of being put in the infamous "friend zone" and due to the pressure I feel that this may be my last chance with a girl in high school.
But another part of me doesn't want to tell her and I feel stuck. This is because I've struggled with mental illness for a while and it's been really hard on me. Also just recently, I've resorted to some slight self harm when I'm feeling emotional turmoil. I can't seem to identify any specific trigger, but between counseling and medication I'm trying to get myself right altogether.
So my fear is ..... I REALLY want to tell her how I feel and see if this goes anywhere but I'm afraid that if she were to reject me even somewhat harshly ... it could be a trigger to me new found self-harm problem. I don't know what to do. I want to be honest with her about my attraction but I'm also scared to hurt myself (emotionally & physically) more than I already have