Okay I didn't end up reading the whole thread but:
I think there's a balance between searching for someone and not doing it.
Guys, as like teenagers, have this hormonal thing that they go through where they feel like they need to have sex, and most deal with it in the usual way; i.e. by trying to have sex.
What does this have to do with relationships? Well, whether they succeed or fail they're richer for the experience. They benefit from knowing HOW to talk to girls and how to flirt, for better or worse. Then when they're more grown up and mature, they're ready for their perfect relationship, but they're not LOOKING because they know that they will know who they really want to be with when that person comes along. They just have their eyes open, is all.
The best formula really seems to be to act like you fit into the same mold as the rest of society and, inside that mold, you become a puzzle piece that is more likely to fully fit and interlock with someone else.
Being unique is significantly harder and requires much more endurance of sadness and loneliness but IF you ever find the person that's right for you, I can only imagine it means so much more. I can't really tell you that much because I have, frankly, never been
with a woman. Ever. I can't even guarantee that love happens for everyone, always, and if you're like me, it's a thing you kind of have to just find a way to get over.
Still my best suggestion is to try to love yourself and help yourself and focus on your own style without being completely rejecting of anything that MIGHT help your chances. Remember you want to be able to receive a person into your life and that is a big thing so you NEED to be receptive in general to many potential changes.