This will probably be a lengthy post but my dumb ass so called boyfriend always nags me about not being friendly. Why the fuck can't people understand that some people are social butterflies and some people are not. Some people dress a certain way and others don't. I never understood why the fuck everybody has to be exactly the same. I'm my own person and I value individuality which to me means having the guts to be yourself and not try to act like everybody else. People tell you to be yourself and they say that shit all day everyday and then when you try to be yourself people tell you to change. Like if we go to a fast food place and I take my food and drive off without saying anything he'll nag, "why didn't you say anything." Yet he says nothing when people at the window give me my food and not say anything and trust me, this has happened plenty of times. Yet it's their job to say, "have a good day" or "have a good night" depending on the time of day it is. And when people aren't friendly to me he says nothing. Are people really that much of a damn sheep they always have to follow the crowd like a bunch of brainless, mindless sheep following the herd instead of doing their own thing? Just like when I come over he always makes sure I speak to his mother and say hi yet there's been countless times she walked into the room and saw me yet didn't say a fucking word to me. Why doesn't he make a big deal about that. And his son is even worst. Asshole walks in the room and treats me like I'm invisible like how hard is it to at least say hi? And then when I confront my boyfriend about that he always got an excuse for his mom like, "oh well she's just tired" or "she has a lot on her mind" or "that's just the way she is." Well this is the way that I am and I'm not a people person. He makes excuses for his son too when I mention he didn't speak to me. He says, "well when my son came in the apartment I wasn't in the room so I didn't know he didn't speak to you" or "oh I thought he spoke to you" when I know good and fucking well he knew his son didn't say hi to me, he just didn't care yet when I don't speak to people I get the third degree. The bottom line is this, people sure as hell don't break the neck being friendly and nice to me so I'm going to do the same thing in return. I'm not going out of my way to be sweet and nice and kind either. It always amazes me how people will use their energy to be assholes like coming up to me saying something stupid and bullying me about looks but they can't take that same energy to try to get to know me and be a real friend. People just mostly ignore me and some even have came up to me to be rude yet when I used to go out to dinner alone nobody even was kind and nice enough to offer to pay for the dinner. Or even come up to say hi or give me a compliment yet again, they will go out of their way to be assholes. As a lady sitting alone at a restaurant you would think a man would offer to pay for a lady's dinner just to be a good guy, or at least a decent human being. But these same assholes will try to get in your panties like when they see a woman sitting alone but can't even offer her a drink just to be friendly. Yes I'm talking about my past experiences. That's why I would rather keep to myself. Most people are only out to hurt you, use you, whatever. I know this is sort of like trailing off into another topic but just like my case manager. Every time I see her she's always asking me if I'm going out socializing. I always say no but truth is, I' don't want to socialize. For the most part I'd rather be alone because as I said before, people will only hurt you 99.99999% of the time. Like these stupid scumbag men at bars. They use to ignore me all night up until closing time when all the other ladies have probably turned them down and they're desperate for someone to go home with and sleep with and of course never see or talk to again. People are users which is another reason I'd rather isolate myself. I need to start being the same way. They want something from me then I should not be shy about wanting something from them. I think that's the only reason I stay with my asshole boyfriend because I don't want to deal with mens stupid fucking lies and trying to use me for their self gratification (the most important thing to them) and their all around bullshit. It's easier to stay with my boyfriend rather than go out and try to meet someone else and put up with these so called men. But I get tired of my boyfriends fucking nagging. And they say women nag, WHAT A CROCK OF BULLSHIT. Another thing he nags about is showering. He literally tests me to see if I took a shower. He will feel my leg to see if it's smooth because when a lady don't shower she gets a little stubble. I mostly keep up with hygiene but I will admit I skip a day here and there. What's the big deal? I told his ass before that everybody has their own way of doing things. I do things my way and he does things his way. And days when I don't shower I don't go anywhere that day anyway so whose going to notice I didn't shower. So freaking what. I wish my life was that easy where I don't have nothing better to do than worry if his ass took a shower. I got a million things on my mind from day to day. I got better things to worry about than him taking a shower. Get a fucking life. And if I'm so dirty why the hell does he always bug me about sex if I'm so dirty? I get sick of the bullshit. As long as I don't smell bad I see nothing wrong with going a day without showering here and there and I don't like these ignorant tests like him feeling my legs to see if I showered and shaved. And so what if I didn't?