Hey I kinda went through that situation. I broke up with my boyfriend about 9 months ago and for the first 6 months it was really hard. And initially we did not talk at all, and I felt so alone all the time. Then we talked for a while, but we were not on the same page so then stopped talking again. But in time it got a little better.
And it is ok that you did not say hi initially. You didn't know how he was going to react. Plus he is ok so that counts. What he said about killing himself, it might be just to keep it real, but that always brings up feelings of guilt for me. But really there is nothing that you can do. But I personally find that statement somewhat manipulative, not necessarily intentionally though.
I know its hard to deal with. And you are def. not alone.