...when this will go away. It's been over a year since, what was for me, an incredibly traumatic parting of ways. I think about this person daily (still
) and dream about them. They were the goal for anything I did which is a really big problem now as they're gone.
I miss them an incredible amount but also hate them more than anyone I ever have. Thinking about this person is a huge trigger. I avoid going on countless people's Facebook pages just because I know it's likely her name/picture etc. will show up on their page.
However, I just searched for someone in order to find out whether a ligament disorder they have is the same as something I think I have. And yep. There she was. I even covered the screen with my hand except for one part and she had to show up there. Now, the picture of her being happy and living life without me is seared into my skull and I'm sure won't go away for any foreseeable time.
I was just going to make dinner which I am sorely in need of but now I want to throw up and can't be bothered anyway. My life has gone off the tracks as it is. I just see no solution to this. It really feels like it's never going away. I'm someone that needs to be in a relationship but the thought of it being anyone but her (or her, for that matter) makes me want to break down. I really hate this.