My Wife Left me For another Man
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My Wife Left me For another Man

This is a discussion on My Wife Left me For another Man within the Love and Relationships forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; Hello, I just wanted to share my story and maybe find someone that this might have happened to. I am ...

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Old 07-07-06, 06:55 PM   #1
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
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Default My Wife Left me For another Man

Hello, I just wanted to share my story and maybe find someone that this might have happened to. I am 26 yrs old I have a 7,5,4,3yr old daughters. I have severe depression and it has been hard for me to keep a job in the past which had put alot of strain on my soon to be ex wife. The last job I had was at a Manufacturing Plant and I had to use a Temp. agentcy to be able to get that one. I worked hard for this company but they just would not hire me. It was becomeing a health issue to me because I always thought about how I was a failure at everything I did. This caused my depression to get worse and worse. Then to make things even worse I quit because my wife said that she could get a job making more then I was and she said everything would be ok. I trusted her, why not she had been with me since high school I loved her. I told her I would stay home with the girls and she could work for a while to give her a break from the kids. Well, we were doing good for the first two weeks. she then started complaining that I was keeping the car so I let her take it to work. I started noticeing that she didn't want sex anymore and that was puzzleing to me. She then told me 2 weeks before she left me that she loved me and would never leave and asked if I ever would. I said"no I never will."
One night I took the kids to a friends house to help him do some things around the house. When I got back home she had called and said that she was going to stay with one of her girlfriends so I said that was cool. I did not realize what she was up to. About 3 days after that we talked about some things I was trying to make things right with her. She then told me that she did not want to be with me anymore. I was crushed. I did not know what to do next. I called her the next day and talked her into talking things over. She was suppose to call me when she got off work. By this time I asked to borrow a car and went to her work to see if she was still working she was there. I went to the store and got flowers and when I got back she had already gone. I asked the person she was suppose to be staying with if she had been staying there she said yeah for a feww days. I then tried to call my wife to see if she might be on her way to the house. No answer. I then had her friend call her and she picked up the phone when she did I asked where she was she told me that she was at her now boyfriends home I was furious. She had known this guy for 6 weeks and was now living with him. She left without an explination or anything. The kids are with me and they miss their mom. I want them to see their mom I just don't want them any more confused then they already are. This man is of a differant ethical background and I don't want my kids raised in that type of lifestyle(gangsters)so I will not let the kids go to their home. I have told her that she is welcome to come see the kids at any time. Now she calls them and tells them that she is comeing and doesn't show. We are still married but she thinks that she doesn't have to pay support till the court orders it. I let her know that the State will come after her if she don't. So now after all her lies and not seeing the kids in 3 months. I try not to speak to her at all she just lies too much for me to listen. She even tried to make me believe that him and her were haveing problems so that I would feel sorry for her. That didn't work so now I just don't talk. I let the kids talk to her when she calls or I let them call her. She also tells me that she doesn't have the money to send me I say well you can take trips across the state to see his family and pay his bills but you can't see and be a mother to your children. It is hard for me to handle all of her bull. My daughters birthday is comeing up I invited her to the party but I also told my daughter not to get her hopes up because of the lies that she has told them in the past. If this story does anything I hope that it shows that things could be worse for you. I still wake up everyday for my girls and I hope and pray that they will see that everything I have erver done wasto either to protect them or to teach them. God Bless and pray for me and my girls Thanks.
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Old 07-07-06, 08:07 PM   #2
 
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*hugs* I'm so sorry to hear that. I had something similiar happen to me with my ex husband. He was the one cheating, but always asking me if i loved him and if i would leave him. He didn't even tell me he wanted a divorce i just got the papers served. Your daughters are so lucky to have you. My mother disowned me but I had my dad and I appreciate everything he ever did and struggled through.
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Old 07-22-06, 03:36 AM   #3
 
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Default i am sorry

I am married no children and he has cheated on me and prob. still does but I just wanted to tell you that you are a great father my dad had cheated on my mom even before they got married and the 23 yrs they were married he did and I am almost 21 and as stupid as it sounds I still will cry over my dad not being there almost my whole life (he was a pilot so wasn't home much and when he was he was always to drunk and to busy to spend time with me )but I have the best mom in the world she would try so hard to get him to get us on the weekends that he was suppose to and when he got drunk and mad he would kick us out and my mom would come and get us and on some things my dad said he would come to like one of my birthdays she kept telling me that he may not make it because he called to say he had to go on a trip and not to get upset if he never showed up and when he didn't she had an extra birthday card and prestent that she wrote his name on and said it was from him and on home coming she would take me to the flower shops to pick up the flowers he "got for me" this year I found out that it was really her that got the flowers and the birthday christmas ext... cards and presents and now I am sad that my dad didn't do it but it makes me thankful for a mom who did it for him in a way and I know she loves me . I think you sound like a wounderful dad....I know it will hurt your daughter if her mom dosen't show up to her birthday and it will hurt you seeing your daughter sad but if that happens one day she will think back and say I had a dad who loves me so much he did every thing to try to make up for my mom....I hope she shows up for your daughter sorry I went on about my child hood but it kind of is the same i guess
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Old 07-22-06, 11:28 AM   #4
 
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Default Just there

I am so srry to hear that your father was a dead beat. He will wake up one day lonely and wonder why. He will not be able to stand his life. If he even feels bad? If he doesn't, you have to live your life the way your mother raised you. As for your husband, he needs to grow up! He will probably, if not already blame you. Do not fall for that. or tell you that she's just a friend. Just a friend means, I don't want to talk about it. He might really Love you but if he can't stop cheating and the trust is not there. You might have to move on. If you need to talk or need some advice.
I am here my AIM is jrowlettm or if you are reading this and need some one to talk to. I work from home and I am on my computer all the time so don't think you will bother me. You WON'T!
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Old 07-22-06, 01:47 PM   #5
 
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My gosh, I sit here wallowing in my own self-pity over losing a love (moving, not dying, and a love, not a mate) and then I read your story. Sure puts things into perspective I guess.

I ache for what you have gone through. You must be an awesome father...you constantly talked about your girls and making sure their happiness was your main concern. How wonderful for them.

The pain of what your wife did must be nearly unbearable. I cannot even imagine it, so you have my respect just by enduring it. Your plate is so full right now and I hope you can stay as positive as possible for the kids.

I don't know what your plans are as far as divorce or waiting or whatever, but I would suggest seeing an attorney to get something filed as far as legal control of the kids. I don't know what it's called, but I am thinking that if your wife wakes up tomorrow and wants the kids back, she can come and take them in a heartbeat. You would have to surrender them to her and would then be on the "visitation" basis, which would be awful. As you are in the depths of your grief, you need to protect what will happen in the future. And believe me, if she gets the kids, she won't be as nice as you about seeing them, being invited to bday parties and that stuff.

I know money is probably an issue, so go to family and friends and whoever you can to get the help you need right now. You need lots of support.

I am glad that you are here. Maybe we can make your journey a bit smoother. Again, you have my deepest sympathies in what you are going through.

Irishred
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Old 07-22-06, 02:12 PM   #6
 
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Thank you for your support. I have seen an attourney and he told me I could put whatever I want in the divorce papers and their is nothing she can do. I have established coustidy through the state. They now are over the case so if she touches the kids without my concent then she will go to jail. They are in the process of getting the child support in order. I am waiting word on what they are doing and I think she has moved but I know her ssn and everything about her. I am pretty good at anylizeing situations and she thinks I am dumb. She is telling the kids not to tell me that she has moved and stuff like that. The way I look at it she id not a mother. Just like it says "It takes a man to be a Father" same principle applies in this case. all in all she is screwed royally and its sad for my girls. I love them so much and will fight my ass off to do what ever I can for them.
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Old 07-22-06, 07:04 PM   #7
 
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Way to go jrowl!! You are definitely ON it.

I wish you peace on the journey to your spirit being restored. Divorce is bad enough, but the way this played out, you had/have a lot to deal with.

So proud of the dad:)


Irishred
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Old 07-22-06, 11:39 PM   #8
 
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He's on it like a pack of dogs on a three legged cat
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Old 07-23-06, 03:20 AM   #9
 
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Default You are an inspiration

You are to your daughters what my mom was to me and my 2 brothers and sister.

You are such an inspiration! You will be blessed for your selfless heart. Your daughters are VERY VERY lucky to have you for their father.
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