My Recurring Lucid Nightmare
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My Recurring Lucid Nightmare

This is a discussion on My Recurring Lucid Nightmare within the Love and Relationships forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; I'm sorry i have to put things into perspective first and vent a few things, I'm nearly 20 this July, ...

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Old 05-05-10, 05:10 PM   #1
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I'm sorry i have to put things into perspective first and vent a few things, I'm nearly 20 this July, still a virgin, never had a girlfriend, chronically lonely and severely depressed.

I have always been told that if you go looking for love you will never find it. Something i came to believe 11 months ago when i met the most gorgeous girl. I had waited for this moment my whole life, words cannot explain the feelings i had for her. beautifully flowing long black hair with two blonde streaks, amazing red lips and hazel eyes that were enough to make your heart melt. The type of girl that if i saw out in a pub or a club, she would stand out, but in no way a 'slutty' kind of manner, she would stand out to me, no one else would matter, she was the face in the crowd i noticed. She split up with her boyfriend and she was devastated and a friend recommended i should speak to her to try and cheer her up.

We spoke online and we clicked immediately. We spoke for hours, all day every day. I never expected her to like me in any way more than friends. Im not good with girls, i have come all too familiar with the friend zone, and i never make moves because im terrified of humiliation and rejection, something im doomed to live with. She text me one night that she wanted to be more than friends but not a relationship.......my emotions EXPLODED..... i dont care what love means....... but if theres a word strong enough to explain it i would use it.... so yea love

Summer days flew passed, we held hands, we kissed, i had finally realised how happy you can be when you dont do life on your own, u have someone who cares....

Then she dropped me.... out of nowhere she stopped answering my calls, my texts everything... i found out she slept with one of my friends and didnt see 'us' going anywhere, i was ruined shattered to pieces, i spiralled into immense depression, she said lets be friends.... but i couldnt, seeing her made me fall all over again, i was hurting so much, so i did the hardest thing.... i said i could never see her again, my heart shattered, i deleted her myspace, her facebook, her number, i had to forget her face, i had to forget her personality.... its the only way to get over...

Thank you for reading this far, but this is my main problem, the months of pain away hurt, but after a while, i began to recover but about a month ago i began to start dreaming about her, i cant remember her during the day.... but at night i see her so vividly, sometimes the dreams are so lucid that i actually believe we're kissing again, my body plays tricks on me, and i can almost physically feel the kiss, i can even feel her hand in mine, then i wake and i expect her to be next to me, its not uncommon for me to wake up in tears...i can fight the real world, and ive done everything i can to forget her, but how can i fight my subconscious mind? how can i fight what is essentially not real? they happen only about twice a week, but their enough to worsen my depression......

i dont know what to do how i can fight this, i was just wondering if anyone ever had this experience, im helplessly in love, ill never be lucky enough to find someone like her again.... thank u so much for your help x
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Old 05-05-10, 08:45 PM   #2
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Take my word for it...there are MILLIONS more like her, or better. If she was your first GF, maybe it's not surprising the relationship did not last..and you said yourself she just had gone thru a breakup so was on the re-bound and maybe a bit vulnerable herself.
I think the dreams are just a kind of wishful thinking, you obviously miss her and would like to have her back...I think it's just your subconscious acting out the wish.
As I've said before, the best way to get over a lost love is with a new love.
Good Luck.
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Old 05-06-10, 10:40 AM   #3
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Thank you for the reply Trollmongo really appreciate it, and thank you for lifting me up a bit, i know its true, the only way to get over someone is to find someone else, but i have trouble meeting those 'million' other people, i have a full time dead end job in a supermarket and i cant leave because i struggle with the rent as it is, if there are a million other better girls, where are they hiding :(
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Old 05-06-10, 10:52 AM   #4
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I've always heard that the supermarket is a good place to meet women, although I only met one girl like that and she worked there.
I've met most of my GF's in bars or at work (I used to be a pilot) but I guess the best way is to go to places you enjoy...the park, church, clubs or whatever. I was single for 22 years between 1st and 2nd marriage...in those 22 years I dated Dancers almost exclusively...expensive to get to know 'em, but once your in, your in good.
I met Eve, my 2nd wife, on line...we've been married 5 years last January 24th...and she is HOTTTT, and 19 years younger than me....
Bottom line is women are everywhere...hard part is it costs money to meet and date 'em, and I know at 20 your probably not rolling in the $$$$
Just take your time and it will happen.
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Old 05-06-10, 05:21 PM   #5
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i think ur giving her more credit then she deserves. yes, she was beautiful and amazing and perfect, but shes also a cheating whore (just my opinion). i no it hutrs to look at the person u love in a bad way, but maybe u should. ur thinking about the good days, not about the day she had sex with ur friend, or the day she said she didnt love u, just how perfect she was. but how perfect can she be truly be if shes going break ur heart like that?
trust me when i say this, and htis is coming from a females mind, there are so many more perfect girls out there, girls that wont get bored and have sex with ur friends bc she cant see u 2 going anywhere. she cheated on u, she hurt u, she broke ur heart, and she expected u to still want to be her friend. did u ever confrton her, tell her how much she hurt u? maybe thats y ur having these dreams.
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the sun will set on this my dear
your labors aren't in vain
your blistered and your burned from it
your wounds are gonna heal
steadfast my love the end is near
just keep your eyes ahead
grab hold of me
I'll help you there
your never on your own
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Old 05-06-10, 05:36 PM   #6
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My wife started her very blatant affaire last June and left me in August. I am absolutely haunted by dreams of her. When Im a sleep she breaks my heart over n over, and when Im awake my very existance is a perpetual reminder of my missery and lonelyness. So I can understand somewhat how your feeling.

I can only say what I hear, that it gets better. Hope thats true.
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