Yes, after 5 years you guys have pretty much set the standard for your relationship. I think the part that bothers me is this:
"and yet he'd rather spend time with them... it frustrates the hell out of me... cuz i feel betrayed, cuz here i am wanting to be with him, "
Does he choose them over you most of the time or some of the time? If it is most, then I think you have some real thinking to do. If he chooses them some of the time, then that seems pretty normal to me.
I feel for him in that he is between you (the girlfriend) and them (the family) and the fact that both sides don't get along. Try to avoid being the side that tries to get the most "time" out of him to prove that he loves you more than them. That is probably what they are doing. Figure out with him what kind of time together you guys need to keep your relationship strong, then agree that each will abide by that. There's always the time we "need" and the time we "want," which may be actually causing the problem.
Basically, make it a discussion about YOU TWO and what your needs are. Leave the family issue out of it if possible. (Geez, it was so much clearer in my head as I thought about it. Writing it just takes me in circles). What I am trying to say is replace "family" with anything else that it could be...such as work, sports, hobbies...and so forth. Take out competing with the family or setting it up to be a me-them issue.