I feel like I shouldn't date...
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I feel like I shouldn't date...

This is a discussion on I feel like I shouldn't date... within the Love and Relationships forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; Hi everyone, Some background, I am a guy in my 20s and have suffered from depression for about 10 years, ...

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Old 07-04-14, 01:59 AM   #1
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Hi everyone,

Some background, I am a guy in my 20s and have suffered from depression for about 10 years, and serious suicidal thoughts on and off. I've only dated once, and we dated for just under a year before she broke up with me. I know that my depression and suicidal thoughts were really hard for her to deal with.

It's been over a year since we broke up and I can't help but feel that due to my depression, it would be wrong of me to date again. Anytime that I think that I might like a girl, I start feeling really guilty about it because I don't want to cause her to suffer.

What do you think, would it be wrong of me to date while still dealing with depression/suicidal thoughts? Have any of you experienced something like this?
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Old 07-04-14, 06:23 PM   #2
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I think it's worth trying but you have to be honest about your problems with your date.

Someone posted one of those memes on Facebook once. It was about that depressed character in Winnie the Pooh, Eeyore, and how regardless of him being depressed, his friends included him in his adventures. The person you need is someone like that.

Last edited by nobodyhelpsme; 07-04-14 at 06:24 PM. Reason: confused sentence
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Old 07-04-14, 07:48 PM   #3
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I believe it wouldnt be wrong, as long as you dont push your problems too much at your partner. Being too clingy can be really hurtful for both sides.
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Old 07-10-14, 02:37 PM   #4
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This is my personal opinion: You should not make any milestone decisions while you're depressed. They will fail and bring you more pain and suffering. It will feed your depression and make it stronger.

Quote:
I know that my depression and suicidal thoughts were really hard for her to deal with
Why should any partner have to deal with this? Who would anybody want to start a relationship under these conditions? This is exactly why you need to fix this first. You should stop worrying about all the things you worry about. Stop asking questions, stop trying to find answers, stop trying to find this magic cure for your current state of mind. Your depression is not going away today, not tomorrow. Probably not even this year. Stop moving. Just sit back, relax and say to yourself 'I'm depressed, it sucks like hell, but it's not going to change any time soon, so I'd better accept it and accept life as it comes'.

Depression works like loosing a loved one. If you don't accept the loss, you'll be miserable for the rest of your life. If you accept it (you don't have a choice anyway), the pain will slowly fade away. Acceptation triggers your natural healing ability. Fighting doesn't.

And while you're healing, focus on little delights like good movies, books, great food and lots of guilty pleasures. Also, good relationships are defined by what you can offer, not by what you can take away.
So take your time to understand women (a challenge on its own :) and make sure you have something to give when the time is right.
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Last edited by SecretMillionaire; 07-10-14 at 02:39 PM.
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