This is my personal opinion: You should not make any milestone decisions while you're depressed. They will fail and bring you more pain and suffering. It will feed your depression and make it stronger.
I know that my depression and suicidal thoughts were really hard for her to deal with
Why should any partner have to deal with this? Who would anybody want to start a relationship under these conditions? This is exactly why you need to fix this first. You should stop worrying about all the things you worry about. Stop asking questions, stop trying to find answers, stop trying to find this magic cure for your current state of mind. Your depression is not going away today, not tomorrow. Probably not even this year. Stop moving. Just sit back, relax and say to yourself 'I'm depressed, it sucks like hell, but it's not going to change any time soon, so I'd better accept it and accept life as it comes'.
Depression works like loosing a loved one. If you don't accept the loss, you'll be miserable for the rest of your life. If you accept it (you don't have a choice anyway), the pain will slowly fade away. Acceptation triggers your natural healing ability. Fighting doesn't.
And while you're healing, focus on little delights like good movies, books, great food and lots of guilty pleasures. Also, good relationships are defined by what you can offer, not by what you can take away.
So take your time to understand women (a challenge on its own :) and make sure you have something to give when the time is right.