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😞 I desperately need help. (Anyone please help me)

This is a discussion on 😞 I desperately need help. (Anyone please help me) within the Love and Relationships forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; Originally Posted by gondal This girl that I've known for years. That I've loved even more than my own family ...

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Old 09-26-17, 07:18 PM   #21
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This girl that I've known for years. That I've loved even more than my own family for YEARS just left me like I'm nothing. Like I don't even matter and am completely worthless. I even trusted her so much that I told her all my secrets and my personal things but she still just abandoned me. Wow. Who does that?

I don't even know if she loves me anymore or not or what she's thinking. It's been almost 4 weeks since I heard from her. The only thing she told me is that her mom doesn't want her to talk to me anymore. She doesn't even have the DECENCY to at least tell me the truth if she doesn't love me anymore or not. At least this girl could have the decency to tell me herself that she doesn't want to talk to me anymore instead of just completely vanishing the way she did.

Honestly I don't know why she told me almost every day for years that she'd always love me just as much as her best friend for life if she didn't mean it. I don't know why someone would promise to never leave and be with you for life and just end up doing something like this. It's a very fucked up immoral thing to do. After you made so many promises to someone you just leave them like that? Without even telling them the truth about why? That's very low and cowardly. She should have never even told me she loved me for years and never made all those promises if she never meant them. It's a very bad thing to do to someone.

Yes I wasn't perfect to her. It's true. I did treat her bad a lot but she should have at least had the decency to be honest with me about it instead of just abanadining me the way she did and breaking all the promises she made for years to me. I'm still very upset about this and I'm really not sure what to think about her anymore and I'm not sure what to do.
Hi gondal,

There are plenty of reasons of how this may have played out. I don't like to go around in circles, but do feel that most of what you wrote in this post about morals and decency, should perhaps be her asking about your own conduct.

You may learn in future relationships, that the answer to your first question of who does a thing like this. Well, many a relationship that breaks down after X number of years, the persons may not speak to each other for the reasons of the breakdown. It doesn't mean they are telling all the secrets to others though.

I have an aunt and uncle divorcing now after perhaps 40 years together. That would be a lot of experiences and secrets through the years. After my own divorce I think we didn't speak for maybe 5-6 months, and then only a few words, both feeling hurt over things.

The more of you that you put into a relationship, often the more hurt you feel when it ends.
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Old 09-26-17, 07:22 PM   #22
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My only hope at this point is that maybe one day she will be nice enough to forgive me and give me another chance. At this point I don't see any other way out. I just made a stupid mistake and now every day I'm regretting it.
You make me feel old here... I've lived with regrets now for longer than you've been alive - I have not learned how to deal with regret hence my own depressions are bigger. I hope you will be one to learn from this and move on quicker - you'll be a lot better for it I guarantee.
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Old 09-26-17, 07:23 PM   #23
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Hi gondal,

There are plenty of reasons of how this may have played out. I don't like to go around in circles, but do feel that most of what you wrote in this post about morals and decency, should perhaps be her asking about your own conduct.

You may learn in future relationships, that the answer to your first question of who does a thing like this. Well, many a relationship that breaks down after X number of years, the persons may not speak to each other for the reasons of the breakdown. It doesn't mean they are telling all the secrets to others though.

I have an aunt and uncle divorcing now after perhaps 40 years together. That would be a lot of experiences and secrets through the years. After my own divorce I think we didn't speak for maybe 5-6 months, and then only a few words, both feeling hurt over things.

The more of you that you put into a relationship, often the more hurt you feel when it ends.
Thanks for answering my threads. I've spoken to all my family about this and they're just tired of me always talking about the same thing for 4 weeks now. I just don't know what to do honestly. I really do love her and I promised her I always would. I still mean that. I just wish there was some way we could both make up and be together again. I would be the happiest person in the world if she just came back again.
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Old 09-26-17, 07:24 PM   #24
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You make me feel old here... I've lived with regrets now for longer than you've been alive - I have not learned how to deal with regret hence my own depressions are bigger. I hope you will be one to learn from this and move on quicker - you'll be a lot better for it I guarantee.
I really don't want to move on. I don't want to lose her and live my life regretting this I really don't. I just have to get her back somehow at any cost. There's nothing else I can do. I just can't let her leave. I love her too much and this was never supposed to happen. Especially over something stupid like fighting.
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Old 09-26-17, 07:27 PM   #25
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I've said bad things to her for years and threatned her for years now but she always forgave me and never made such a big deal out of it. I'm just confused why she's going so far now. Maybe she just couldn't handle it anymore. Maybe her mom and her friends and brainwashing her right now. Telling her I am a bad person and to stay away from me. The confusing thing is they've been telling her that for years but she never listened to them before.
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Old 09-26-17, 07:29 PM   #26
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Thanks for answering my threads. I've spoken to all my family about this and they're just tired of me always talking about the same thing for 4 weeks now. I just don't know what to do honestly. I really do love her and I promised her I always would. I still mean that. I just wish there was some way we could both make up and be together again. I would be the happiest person in the world if she just came back again.
None of my relationships have had a second chance. In my current we have huge fights and don't talk for days, but living together haven't split yet. I expect the day to come when we do split, there will be no second relationship between us.

It's the way it goes. Life's a bitch and I have regrets about every relationship I ever had, for all kinds of reasons.
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Old 09-26-17, 07:33 PM   #27
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None of my relationships have had a second chance. In my current we have huge fights and don't talk for days, but living together haven't split yet. I expect the day to come when we do split, there will be no second relationship between us.

It's the way it goes. Life's a bitch and I have regrets about every relationship I ever had, for all kinds of reasons.
I don't know if you remember but she did give me a second chance 2 years ago after 4 months. I don't know if that matters but my point is I just am not willing to lose her. Not her. I still and always will love her more than anything. She's precious to me and I just can't let such a big loss happen. Maybe I did go too far in how I treated her but I made a mistake and my heart has good intentions for her. I genuinely do love her and never wanted to hurt her. I've just had a paranoia problem that made me act that way. Maybe one day she will talk to me again and I can make all this up to her.
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Old 09-26-17, 07:35 PM   #28
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I'm wondering if I should try to contact her on her social media account. I'm not sure if it's a good idea but it's the only way I'll get her to read my message since none of my other messages are getting through. I could tell her that I'm sorry and to please give me another chance and to listen to me.
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Old 09-26-17, 08:17 PM   #29
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She promised to be best friends for life. It's hard when people break promises...

But did you promise her 2 years ago that you would not abuse her anymore? If you broke your promise, then her promise is no longer relevant.
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Old 09-26-17, 08:45 PM   #30
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She promised to be best friends for life. It's hard when people break promises...

But did you promise her 2 years ago that you would not abuse her anymore? If you broke your promise, then her promise is no longer relevant.
I didn't mean to abuse her. It was never my intention to break my promises or to abuse her. Sometimes I just got too paranoid and wasn't able to think straight but she always said she understood and would never leave.
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