"fixing" the sexual side of my relationship
Take This Life  

Go Back   Take This Life > Challenges > Life's Other Challenges > Love and Relationships


"fixing" the sexual side of my relationship

This is a discussion on "fixing" the sexual side of my relationship within the Love and Relationships forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; Sex is just awkward for me, really. I have no confidence at all so I always think that I look ...

join us
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 11-21-13, 09:20 AM   #1
New Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Scotland
Posts: 16
Default "fixing" the sexual side of my relationship

Sex is just awkward for me, really.
I have no confidence at all so I always think that I look like an idiot when I'm trying to initiate anything. The husband doesn't really initiate very often either.
I know depression lowers your appetite for it, so my first question is how can I increase it? Obviously I want to make my husband happy.
Secondly, I can't take oral contraceptives because I always forget to take them and I hate ingesting synthetic hormones. I know they're only meant to help, but they always do funny things to me. Condoms aren't an option either, as husband doesn't get the same feeling. We've tried a brand called Skyn, but they just lower the feeling too much.
I don't recall it always being such a problem, but I can definitely tell he's not feeling it in the same way he used to.
I don't really know what to do about this, so I was wondering if anyone had any experience, similar situations, advise etc?
Thanks.
Snowcake is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-13, 10:20 AM   #2
Junior Member
 
Eyeland's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Loonieville
Posts: 90
My Mood:
Default

Explore sexuality. Sometimes something that you always considered too kinky or even silly can be totally great when you try it. In my case i never wanted to try a particular vice...until i did..and it changed a lot. Not saying that kinky fetishes etc will definitely help everyone, but trying is infinitely better than not doing anything at all, things deteriorate further as time passes this way. I wish you and hubby the best :)
Eyeland is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-13, 12:43 PM   #3
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 139
My Mood:
Default

This sounds counterintuitive, but I've found that one of the best ways to increase your sex drive is to have more sex. Yes, you have to make extra effort at first, and it may seem a bit forced, but after a few times, you're in that frame of mind more often. When you have recent reminders of how enjoyable it is, you subconsciously think, "That was hot, I totally want to do that again." I'm not sure if this is common, or if it's just me, but I'd recommend giving this approach a try.

I got turned off of initiating for awhile, because my bf was on medication that drastically lowered his sex drive. Every time I tried to initiate, I got shot down, so I stopped trying for awhile. But he wasn't initiating either, for obvious reasons, so then I thought, "Well, one of us has to!" One thing that sort of helped was that early on in the day/evening, I'd kiss him and directly tell him, "I want to have sex with you later." Then we'd go out with our friends, or watch a movie, or whatever, and then try afterwards. He knew what to expect, so he didn't feel as put on the spot, or like I was springing anything on him. It still didn't always work out (I'd still get "I'm too tired" or "I'm just not in the mood right now" sometimes), but it did have a higher success rate.

Good luck to you! Hope some of this helps.
LetItBe987 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-13, 01:11 PM   #4
New Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Scotland
Posts: 16
Default

Exploring sexuality and "just do it!", got it.
I love him to bits and I really want to make him happy, so I'm going to have to try something to make it work. Plus, there's my needs too.
Thanks for your advice, I'll try working on those two things and see what happens.

Let me know if there's anything else at all I can try, particularly with the condom problem. That bit is starting to get me down. I'm starting to wonder if it's me that's the problem, if he's just not enjoying it any more, or if he's just not turned on by me.
Snowcake is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-22-13, 05:47 AM   #5
Member
 
TooNumbToFeel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: England's Hull Hole, Uh... I mean Hell Hole
Posts: 469
My Mood:
Default

There's a couple of things you can try, they make lubes with spermicide in them and you can also go to the doctor and get the rod (not too sure of the process, never been with anyone who's had it). There are plenty of ways to keep things fresh, when I was with a girl I used to read stuff written by two people called Dan & Jenn, worth googling when you have a spare half hour or so. Best of luck :)
TooNumbToFeel is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:26 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Shoutbox provided by vBShout v6.2.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2021 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2021 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.3.2