a depressing night at my sisters
Take This Life  

Go Back   Take This Life > Challenges > Life's Other Challenges > Love and Relationships


a depressing night at my sisters

This is a discussion on a depressing night at my sisters within the Love and Relationships forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; i went to spend the night at my sisters new house last night. she lives right between two cheap hotels. ...

join us
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 06-07-10, 08:47 AM   #1
Experienced Member
 
heartfilledlies's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: alone in this hell
Posts: 2,234
My Mood:
Default a depressing night at my sisters

i went to spend the night at my sisters new house last night. she lives right between two cheap hotels. and i was doing good all day, i had kept myself busy all day until i had to leave t go there and i had gotten my x out of my head all day. then i saw these 2 hotels, and the first thing that came into my mind was "cool, now when andy comes we can stay there."
it was almost like an immediate reaction. and i felt so shitty for it. i had to wear his chain over there but i was missing him so much and everything and then we sat in my sister living room and we were talking and everything and i was able to get him out of my mind again, but then my sisters bf came home. and they started kissing eachother, saying i love u, i missed u, and i cuddled up on the couch, telling each other about there day and everything. and it made me feel so depressed bc thats wat i always wanted to do with my bf, just have him come home after a long days work , have dinner already made, so we can cuddle up on the couch and everything. and i looked out the window and all i could see was the hotel, and that just made it worse. i took off the chain and held it for a few minutes and i got so angry at myself for feeling this way. then i had to go sit outisde for a few minutes bc i was about to cry and i think my sisters bf understood bc he sort of pulled away from her after that. but as i was sitting outside, i was able to clear my head and put the chain bk on. then my sisters friend came over and i just wnted to punch her. literally, every third word that came out of her mouth was 'like'. omg, i like hated it. so like i just zoned her like out the like hole time she like was there, which just left me to daydream about my x.
then i slept on the couch aqnd i felt so lonely and miserable. i new b4 i left i hsouldve taken like a teddy bear or something, but i thought id be fine. but i had to jus tlay there on the couch and think and stare at the cieling and over analyze and make myself feel so shitty which didnt help the fact that i oculdnt sleep already. i kept wondering "whats andy doing" and everytime i regretted it. but its all icould think about. i was just running my mind in circles all day yesterday.
i seem to be getting better and moving forward, but then something happens so im pushed bk to the starting line.
we've been talking as friends, and it feels so good to talk to him,but after i we stop i find myself missing him and wanting to be so clingy like i used too. i think im going to have to stop being friends with him. just bc......
idk, idk wat i should do. i thought going over to my sisters would be good to get out of the house and all. and it just made me feel the same i wouldve at home, except my sister and her bf kept getting mad at me for zoning out every now and then and not talking much. atlast at home i couldve hid out in my room. i just dont no. i want to get over this hump so badly but im stcuk down here at the bottom of it.
__________________
a strong woman is one who can build a firm foundation from the bricks thrown at her

Is this the life that you lead or the life that's led for you? Will take the road that's been laid out before you

the sun will set on this my dear
your labors aren't in vain
your blistered and your burned from it
your wounds are gonna heal
steadfast my love the end is near
just keep your eyes ahead
grab hold of me
I'll help you there
your never on your own
heartfilledlies is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-10, 09:04 AM   #2
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 53
Default

Hi I'm sorry about what happened with your sisters. i really hate public affection, even if you're not missing someone and not wishing you had someone it is really awkward and quite inconsiderate really when people have a private moment right in front of you.

It's understandable you're feeling sad and angry, there's nothing wrong with that. It's good your sister's boyfriend was so understanding but it's sad your sister doesn't realise how hard it is for you. Have you tried talking to her about it? Also I think kissing in front of you guests is ruder than zoning out, you can't help zoning out sometimes. The important thing was that you were able to focus as much as you did.

I think it's great you did so well for most of the day. I know it doesn't feel like that. It's so easy just to look at the fact it wasn't a completely good day but you did well. If you break the time down into hours instead of days (sometimes an hour can feel like a day anyway) you had so many good hours, then just maybe one or two bad ones. You did well, you really did.

It must be difficult being friends with someone you want to be with. It usually doesn't work, sometimes you're happy for every second you can spend with someone but other times it just reminds you of what you're missing. Maybe you could tell him you want to be friends but maybe you should have a break from each other for a little bit so you can kind of get used to the transition to friends?
__________________
Becca x
littlelostlamb is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-10, 11:12 AM   #3
Experienced Member
 
heartfilledlies's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: alone in this hell
Posts: 2,234
My Mood:
Default

ty for ur reply lost.
no, i cant talk to my sister aout it. i dont tust her, she'll tell her bf who'll tel someone else in the family and then so on. plus, she thinks that bc she lost the guy she thought she loved in high schol, she understands this. she thinks my relationship with him ws just a crush bc she doesnt believe u can fall in love online simply bc she never exprienced it. if i were to talk to her about it shell just say "well u shouldve known it wasnt going to last."
i can handle being freinds with him, its when he tells me about wat hes doing for his family and himself and i find myself wondering "where was the want to change when i waas there? how come u refusd to do that for me?" i think we cant be friends though, until i move ahead a bit more.
__________________
a strong woman is one who can build a firm foundation from the bricks thrown at her

Is this the life that you lead or the life that's led for you? Will take the road that's been laid out before you

the sun will set on this my dear
your labors aren't in vain
your blistered and your burned from it
your wounds are gonna heal
steadfast my love the end is near
just keep your eyes ahead
grab hold of me
I'll help you there
your never on your own
heartfilledlies is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-10, 12:08 PM   #4
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 53
Default

Lots of people think you can't fall in love online but I don't know why they think that. I think you can often get to know someone better online because you can write things down which you can't say out loud - either because it's just too personal or because if you're on a date with someone you're often in a public place and there's some things you just can't talk about in a place where anyone might hear you.

It's a shame your sister doesn't understand and that she'd tell people. I used to tell my dad stuff privately and the next thing I know, my mum is teasing me about it in front of everyone at the dinner table. It's sad when you can't talk to people.

But I'm sure there are lots of people who do understand that your feelings were real and there are probably loads of people who have been in your situation, including some people on this site so I hope they'll see your post and be able to help you better than I can.
__________________
Becca x
littlelostlamb is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-10, 05:34 PM   #5
Experienced Member
 
heartfilledlies's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: alone in this hell
Posts: 2,234
My Mood:
Default

my sister says u cant tell if its real love until u see them in person. which is a load of shit, i learned from experience.
uve done plenty for me and im grateful. dont sell urself short, everything u said is true and u helped me see that. x x x
__________________
a strong woman is one who can build a firm foundation from the bricks thrown at her

Is this the life that you lead or the life that's led for you? Will take the road that's been laid out before you

the sun will set on this my dear
your labors aren't in vain
your blistered and your burned from it
your wounds are gonna heal
steadfast my love the end is near
just keep your eyes ahead
grab hold of me
I'll help you there
your never on your own
heartfilledlies is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:44 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Shoutbox provided by vBShout v6.2.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2021 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2021 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.3.2