Confidence Has Been Shattered
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Confidence Has Been Shattered

This is a discussion on Confidence Has Been Shattered within the Love and Relationships forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; I don't know if I'll ever be able to talk to a girl. Every time I try, I say something ...

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Old 06-25-12, 12:59 AM   #1
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I don't know if I'll ever be able to talk to a girl. Every time I try, I say something boring or just act stupid. Social anxiety disorder has done its job on me. It has caused me to lose out of countless opportunities, and left me with no social life. My only friends are guys. I have a female "friend" but that's just because I was put in the friend-zone. I only talk to her because I don't want my social circle to be a sausage-fest. Therapists and psychiatrists have told me to just get out there and do it, but it's not that easy. Women want a confident guy, but I've shown that that's not me. I've been burned too many times and don't know what to do next. I need something that lowers inhibitions, but I'm too young for alcohol and everything else ruins your body. I am sick of having no success with the ladies. I have been single for a few years now, but even those relationships were terrible because I was too afraid to advance them. I sit at 3-13 in the relationship department. And 13 is a streak so far! I keep going back to girls who have already rejected me and making things worse... All of this because I can't talk to anyone new without f**cking things up. I'm running out of options and I'm about done with women... (no I'm not going gay). I may just stop trying altogether. I'm through with being hurt. And the thing that really upsets me is the fact that girls always go for the opposite of what they say they want, a nice guy. They want these badasses who leave them after they get what they want. Then they go crying to the nice guys who they put in the friend-zone a long time ago. I'm about done with the s**t women do. Sorry to you girls out there who aren't as shallow as those I've dealt with...
#FriendZonedForever :(
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Old 06-25-12, 01:07 AM   #2
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Just to add... 3-13 only counts girls I've gotten past exchanging numbers with. If you count cold approaches, that rejection streak at least doubles. Everything ended in rejection at some point.

Last edited by nanofriz12; 06-25-12 at 01:08 AM. Reason: mine
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Old 06-25-12, 09:52 PM   #3
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Just wondering how old are you? What type of girls are you going for?
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Old 06-25-12, 10:07 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PheonixBomb View Post
Just wondering how old are you? What type of girls are you going for?
I'm 16... I'm just looking for someone my age who I find attractive and isn't like the typical girls I've tried with (wants someone who only wants sex, then runs crying to the "nice guy" she put in the friend-zone when he hurts them.) I have tried with regular girls who I find attractive, but everything ended up in rejection. I know what to do to attract girls, but my having my heart used as a punching bag so many times in a row has left my confidence in pieces. I don't want to come off as desperate, but it happens alot because I AM. I try to act as if I don't need a relationship, but it blows up in my face at some point. I even have a dating advice blog, but I can't take my own advice because my confidence is so low. I'm just at a standstill right now and don't know how to keep moving...
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Old 06-25-12, 10:58 PM   #5
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You're 16 and about done with women? Good luck, brother, your rejection ratio doesn't look all too bad. A lot of us take rejection hard, and hopefully you can appreciate that it's not all rejection and start feeling better. You're doing better than many of us who are older.

Great people have historically had long runs of failure before achieving success. It isn't heard about so much, being that they pushed through and continued to learn instead of giving up.

You have what women want. Try to keep this in mind, and be yourself in spite of everyone seemingly whoring around and/or using each other. Everyone isn't a whore, though I have a hard time reminding myself of this at times.

As a man of standards, why don't you choose who you want? If you don't see anyone you really want, or if things don't turn out, then focus on yourself for a while.. IMO. I can't see sticking around those who aren't compatible, and people get caught up all the time... Better to be single and desirable than caught up in a bunch of bullshit and heartache. If someone doesn't fit your standards, then they don't have what you're looking for. No point in holding them in a higher esteem than you otherwise would, just out of loneliness.

It could make more sense if you take a few steps back and reflect. Unfair is the name of the game, to be sure, but there's no good point in taking it personally or turning your back on social conventions. I don't think the only option is to be the "badass" and use others, but I'm not saying that it isn't a strong trend, either. Good luck with finding your path.
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Old 12-12-12, 10:02 AM   #6
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As a woman who says she wants a nice guy and only ever went after nice guys, I can tell you we're out there. But I also have social anxiety disorder and found it impossible to talk to guys when I was your age (I'm 25 now). Not only could I not talk to guys, but I was painfully shy, so even if a guy I liked did talk to me, my shyness would get in the way and come across as disinterest! Basically what I'm saying is, that nice girls looking for nice guys are out there. But maybe not able to show interest bexause of their oen shortcomings and to be patient. At 16 I hadn't had even one boyfriend. So, maybe the nice girls are just late bloomers :)
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