It's been quite some time since I've been here. I forgot my password and then didn't know how to reset it (which is actually quite easy I've realised).
A lot has happened.... I was in quite a toxic relationship for 18 months. Which I ended about 15 months ago. I was happy on my own and feel like I finally found myself. Then I decided I ready to date again a few months ago. I had agreed to go on a few dates but at the last minute they cancelled. This obviously hasn't been good for my self esteem. I just feel so unlovable and like I'm never going to find someone who appreciates me or truly wants to get to know me.
I hadn't had any luck on dating sites/apps - most guys weren't genuine, I just wasn't interested, or they were creeps/too thirsty.
Then I rematched with this guy I went on a date with about 3 years ago. We didn't go on another date because our first date was so awkward. But I thought I'd see what happened.
We were texting for 3 weeks and then met up on Saturday night. It went really well. He gave me a kiss on the lips when we said goodbye (just a peck, which was nice). Then we texted that night and the next day.
Then it seemed as though the went cold on me. His texts got shorter and he wasn't being flirty anymore. So yesterday I said "I feel as though maybe you're not that interested anymore. Am I reading that right?".
When he finally replied he said that he doesn't know at the moment. And when I prompted further he said he doesn't know if he can guarantee anything. I replied and said that I don't expect a guarantee as it's a process. And said that it's obvious things have changed and I don't know why and asked if I did something.
He said that I didn't do anything, and that he thinks he's overthinking things. I asked what is he overthinking....and said that I do too (which he knows).
So I'm waiting to hear back. But I feel like there just must be something wrong with me and I don't understand what it is. I don't understand why no one wants to date me :( I'm entering into a depression and my anxiety is through the roof.
I was so happy before I decided to start dating again. I hate feeling like this. No one should ever have to feel like this. I have so much to give and I think I'm a pretty good catch. So why can't anyone else see it?